Matt Sweet

It is cold in Detroit today. I'm not going to talk about the weather, except to say that I'm really glad I put gas in my car yesterday, when it was slightly warmer.

We had a staff meeting today at the agency I work for. The staff meeting room has two walls that are totally windows, one with a view of Layfette Park, and the other with a view of the Renaissance Center, the river, and downtown Detroit. Nice views. The down side is that the windows are poorly insulated, and the tempature of the room is somewhere between "you can see your breath" and "you no longer have toes." The rest of the agency, including my office, is pleasantly warm. So I need to bring a sweater or something.

Tom Tomorrow had this to say about Karl Rove. Check out the last panel, in which Rove claims to be a behaviorist. That cracks me up.

I would like to address something serious for a moment: The 76th Annual Academy Awards. I have yet to give my cyber-opinion on this subject. If you need a reference, here is a list of the nominees.

First, for Best Actor, I would like to say that Johnny Depp was pretty cool in Pirates of the Caribbean. It will be interesting to see if he can win with that role. Oh, and raspberries all around to Tom Cruise, who was probably banking on The Last Samurai so that he could feel on equal to Nicole. Ha! You still can't act, sexy man. Just sit there, be quiet, and look pretty.

For Best Actress, I am pulling for Keisha Castle-Hughes (I know, you are saying, "Who?") for her work in Whale Rider. If you haven't already seen this movie, go post haste and rent it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be making fat jokes for weeks. Good times.

For Supporting Actress, can I just say this: Renee Zellweger, I totally called that one! Whoo-Hooo! You go, girl. Seriously, her performance in Cold Mountain, was just amazing. Particularly when you consider that the role is very different from her usual work.

Of note: For Best Song, Cold Mountain was nominated twice. My prediction is "You Will Be My Ain True Love," as a nod to the recent resurgence in bluegrass music in film. (I'm thinking of Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? and Songcatcher, to name a couple.)

For almost every other category, it looks like it will be a three-way battle between Lord of the Rings, Seabiscuit, and Master and Commander. I didn't see Master and Commander yet. I may want to do that before the awards come out. Lord of the Rings was almost everything that a movie should be. Also, Seabiscuit, like the title character of the movie, was a suprise--an excellent film that lots of people just wrote off. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

There it is. Matt's predictions for Oscar Night, which will happen on February 29th.

I am so gay.

So far, today has been like any other day, only more so. My ad runs in Between the Lines, Michigan's LGBT-themed paper, today. It runs periodically... and ever time it does I look at in and think, "I hate this ad." I designed it myself, and it looks like crap. And the picture of me is terrible. I've got some new ads to go up soon, I've just been too busy to convert them into jpeg format... now I'm boring people, so I'll switch topics.

I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I have become obcessed by the Martha Stewart Trial. (Note the capital letters.) Slate.com has some excellent material on the trial here. And, if you want Martha's perspective, go to Martha Talks.

I think there is some validity in the argument that the anti-Martha forces want to see the Domestic Goddess go down because she reminds us of some anal-retentive relative. Of all the archetypes to embody Martha chose "Bitchy Control Freak." Still, I have some respect for the woman who made an empire out of work that is usually not considered important. Martha has long been a dirty pleasure... I enjoy knowing that there is someone out there who, at least on the surface, has managed to achieve a state of perfection where the envelopes her invitations come in match the flowers making up the centerpiece.

Martha presents an image of a someone who has it all under control, which gives us mere mortals something to which we can aspire. So her personal life is shit...so what? Other celebrities have crappy personal lives and produce amazing artistic work. (Woody Allen springs to mind.) So she doesn't live the life she portrays... so what? Who in the world does? Can anyone of claim never having exagarated on a resume, or in conversation with someone at a party?

Martha just happened to choose to project a false image that we seceretly want to believe is actually possible. She had it all, and a perfectly organized place to put it, and she managed to have time to bake From-Scratch cookies, too. We resent Martha because we are jealous. And, as much as people wanted her to fail, people resent the fact that she let us down. Martha's downfall means that it really isn't possible to be perfect, and that we all have parts of us that we would rather not face. Inside each of us is a little hypocrite--it comes with being human--that we would rather not have. Martha's trial provides a vehicle for us to watch that part of ourselves go down in flames.

Lunch time for the mental health providers included chicken pot pie and dried apricots today. "Mental health providers"...That's the latest jargon for "therapist." What an odd term.

"What do you do for a living?"
"Why, I provide mental health."
"Oh, how nice for you. That sounds like a pleasant job."
"Oh yes. We have our mental health shipped in from Sweden, and then we distribute it at a slight mark-up."

Speaking of my professional life, I came across this article during my daily reading of The New York Times. It's about the increase in the use of cell phones and other wireless communication devices in inpatient psychiatric facilities. I kid you not.

when I worked in a psychiatric hospital (which was up until May of last year), we were beginning to have this problem. Lots of patients (FYI: consumers of mental health services are "patients" when they are in a hospital, "clients" when they are not) would come in with cell phones. There is nothing that will inspire rage in a therapist faster than a cell phone playing "Crazy" by Patsy Kline in the middle of an intense group therapy session. OK, so this never actually happened to me, but the threat that it would was enough for me to set a rule for all my groups: No cell phones, period. I told them that if someone needed to reach them, that person should have the number for the nurse station.

I never really thought about the idea that it would actually be therapeutically beneficial for a patient (again, someone inside a hospital) to have cellular "contact with the outside." What I did think about was the other patients, who almost invariably would roll their eyes and look annoyed when a ring-tone sounded. This may be a case where the benefits of the many (being able to speak without electronic interruption) may outweigh the rights of the few (being able to contact anyone, anytime).

Enough about that. Last night was the New Hampshire primary. See my comments from yesterday.

Last night was also the State of the State address here in Michigan. Gov. Granholm, whom I adore, gave a solid address. However, one thing that did not come up that I wish had: Granholm wants to create "cool cities" to spur on some urban renewal, which is a wonderful idea. At the same time, the legislature of the state is considering an ammendment to the state Constitution to prohibit same-sex marriages. I do wish that someone would ask the Good Governor to reconcile these two positions, particularly when her personal revitalization guru Richard Florida has specifically drawn a connection between acceptance of gays and lesbians and urban renewal. So how does Granholm intend to foster cool cities and a creative class if the Legislature is undercutting her initiatives? Sometimes I wish that I had gone into journalism or something, so I could ask these kinds of questions.

All of my clients cancelled today due to illness or the bad driving conditions. So, I am going to go home and get some work done on my laptop, in the comfort of my living room.

The upshot of the whole thing is that my drive in to work this morning was über-crappy. I had plenty of time to listen to various political experts pontificate about who will win the Democratic primary today. Allow me to give my predictions. I am, after all, a behaviorist, and voting is a behavior.

I predict that Kerry will win in New Hampshire, and the momentum will carry him all the way through, although it will be a tight race. I think Kerry will win because: 1) He represents what most liberals (who respect dispassionate logic, are intellectually curious, and have a high tolerance for ambiguity) think of as being electable. The reason that the primaries are so close is that all the candidates tend to represent this, to one degree or another. The questions people are debating are whether or not their candidate can win in every part of the country, which is why my second choice prediction is Edwards. If people go with Edwards, it will be because they are worried about the Southern vote. Dean, Sharpton (please), Clark et. al. are going to be history by March.

I also predict that Kerry will lose the November general election. I predict this because the same qualities that appeal to the kinds of people who vote in primaries (dispassionate logic, intellectual curiosity, high tolerance for ambiguity) are exactly the things that will alienate the average American. People what a President who represents and resembles them, hence G.W. Bush. What I don’t think that the Democrats understand is that Bush embodies the American dream for most people: He seems just like another average Joe—in face, he seems like a below-average Joe. In a sense, he sort of has a certain underdog energy about him. After all… who would guess that an ex-coke using, college flunk-out, business failure could become the leader of the most powerful nation in the world?

Edwards may have a better chance, but only if he keeps exaggerating his Southern accent to play up his AGA (Andy Griffith Analog) factor. People associate AGAs with good governance because Maybury was peaceful and calm. Seriously—think about how many past Presidents have been AGAs, either in their plain-speak mannerisms or their laissez-faire approach, or both.

The salvation of whomever the Dems nominate will depend on the ability of the party to make it look like G.W. Bush is out-of-touch with the needs of the average American, or that he has been abusing his power. If that happens, then people will turn against him out of anger. And anger, as we know, is the strongest motivator of all human emotions.

There. Take that for what it’s worth.

In any case, watch this space. I think I’m going to be making some other changes as well, like the layout, etc…

Jay and I visited my grandmother today, which required about 6 hours of being in the car. Isn’t it amazing how simply sitting on your ass in a moving car can be so tiring? I’m exhausted. On the way home from the hinterlands we stopped at an outlet mall and enjoyed the wares of J. Crew and London Fog. I needed a warmer coat, particularly if I am going to go to Minnesota next month.

I went grocery shopping today. I hate grocery shopping. I am not a patient man, really, and standing behind the lame and the halt as they maneuver their carts into gridlock makes irritated to the point of rage. Going on a Saturday afternoon was… well… it reminded me why I usually shop early Sunday morning. Happily I did not maim anyone, and the checkout guy was hot.

I’ve gotta run… can’t be late for dinner!

In Matt’s news round-up: The American Family Association has decided not to take the results of their marriage poll to Congress after all.And a Christian nudist colony opens in Florida. What a society we live in, I tell you.

Today is full of clients, and then I meet Jay for dinner, and then I have more clients, and then I go home.

I am super tired today. The kind of tired that goes all the way to the bone, if you will. I don’t want to be at work, I don’t want to see any clients; I just want to go home and curl up in a blanket and go to sleep with my cats. I’m glad it’s Thursday, because I don’t know if I could do much more work-a-day stuff.

To make my day even more pleasant, it is freezing outside. It is a clear, sunny day, which are always the coldest. (For people who do not live in winter climes, a sunny day mean that there is no cloud cover to hold in heat, and usually it also means more wind.) For real, it is bitter cold outside, like 5 degrees Kelvin. I swear. And with the wind-chill factor, it’s so cold that matter simply ceases to exist.

Wasn’t that fun?

Here is an interesting opinion piece. Tedd Rall has his moments of being very radical, but this is not one of them.

Enough about politics. Today is Wednesday (whoo-hoo !) and I don’t have any clients this evening. Wednesday is my couch potato day. (I have to schedule time to be a couch potato.) So after work I’m going to go get a bucket of something fried and some potato salad, and then sit in front of the TV and eat it, washed down with liberal quantities of my favorite Château Extra Ordinary.

Of note: I got a call from my mother last night that my grandmother may be in “bad shape.” People are coming to visit her, etc. So Jay and I made plans to drive up there and back this Sunday. It’s a 3 hour drive, one-way. My father’s family, God love them, come from a little town in Michigan called “McBain.” You can look it up if you want, although I don’t know why anyone would want to.

Jason has never been to McBain. He is in for a treat. The population is about 200 people, and about 100 of those people live in the nursing home, which serves the entire county. The county itself (Missaukee County, for the record) has only 2 traffic lights, and one of them is constantly blinking. The neareast McDonald’s, in Lake City , was built in 1998. That’s right—Moscow had a McDonald’s before McBain did. It’s God’s country… full of dairy cows and Churches. If I’m not back by Monday at noon, send the police. Also, if it’s cold here, it’s going to be REALLY COLD there.

“Is this the face that launched a thousand ships, And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?”

Fine. I would just like to suggest that maybe John Kerry may want to consider adding the Fab Five to his political team.

I’m only being slightly petty here. I believe that the truth is that the democrats are still not playing bumper-sticker politics. They are still focusing on the whole, “Hear me out” thing. That will not beat President Bush.I can see the debates now:

Moderator:What is your stand on the economy?
Bush:I support a strong economy. I believe that we have to stand up and be proud to be Americans, and that means a strong economy.
(Insert a Crowd Roaring)
Kerry:Well, this is a complicated issue. We all know that…
(Insert the sound of a million Americans turning the channel, thinking, “You, Mr. Kerry, are the ugliest man who has ever been on my television set. And you bore me. I wonder what Jessica Simpson is doing?”)

It’s not that I don’t think the Democrats can package their message into sound-bite format, I just don’t think they realize that it’s important to do so.Dems still think that “elect-ability” means: Old, white, boring, traditional, centrist. And on those points, John Kerry is the man.

Apparently Queer as Folk was such a hit with the straight female demographic that the good folks at Showtime thought if they make a TV show about lesbians, they should make sure it’s enjoyable for straight men. Sigh.There was like, one scene of lesbian sex, and about a hundred of heterosexual sex. And one three-way (you guessed it—two women, one man).

I guess the show wasn’t as bad as it could have been, right? Maybe they could make that their slogan: “The L Word—it’s not as bad as possible.” And, unsurprisingly, none of the lesbians at the party last night could ever remember sitting with their friends and having a conversation about “nipple-confidence.”

Well, at least the equal-sign themed cookies (HRC fundraiser, remember?) were good. And maybe the show will get better over time.

Today I’m off work, although I do have a meeting to go to later this afternoon. There is no rest for the weary.

After dinner we watched Eddie Izzard and played cards. It was a quiet evening with friends, which is just what I wanted.

Today Jay wants to go look at open houses. So I guess we’ll go get some groceries for the weekend and then head over to Huntington Woods / Pleasant Ridge / Royal Oak , which is where we are looking at buying.

Tonight Jay and I are attending a fundraiser/premier party for Showtime’s new lesbian-themed drama The L Word . The fundraiser is for HRC. I know a few people who are going to be there, most of the colleagues. I’m curious about the show, and I’ve heard mixed reviews. I’ll write more about it after I see it.

I listened to some talking head or other last night. He was on about the "electability"--or lack thereof--of Howard Dean. "Can any Democrat beat Bush?" He asked in all seriousness. I wish that, just once, one of these pundits would respond with, "Why, a Democrat already *did* beat Bush. The question is whether or not they can do it again, and then if they can make it stick this time." Of course, then they would probably be accused of something insidious, like reminding the nation of the quantity and quality of corruption in Shrub's administration, dating back to the stealing of the election. Sigh. I suppose I'm just a body-piercing, sushi-eating, Hollywood-loving left-wing Freak Show at heart.

I'm listening to Franz Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsodies as I'm writing this. Hearing them makes me want to play the piano again. Jason and I are planning on moving this Summer (we're leaving apartment life behind and becoming home owners), and I think I may pitch the idea of purchasing a piano. I do miss making music. As embarrassing as this is to admit, sometimes I go to music stores just to play a piano again.

I guess I've been writing a lot about what it takes to make me feel that I'm satisfied with life. I have to admit, that I really don't feel dissatisfied. I just look around and wonder if everything I have now--everything that I've worked for--is really what I want. And then I ask myself, "What do I want now?" Reading Toddo lately has made me think harder about what exactly I am looking for out of my life right now. So, in the spirit of making clearly defined goals, I would like: a Martha-Stewart house in a safe, gay-friendly suburb, with a big lawn and no sidewalks; a reliable and comfortable car; a cat and a dog or two; a child or two; occasional vacations to someplace warm. And of course, it goes without saying, I want Jason to be with me and I want him to be happy. Oh, and a houseboy named "Jean-Pierre." I suppose that's really not so much; after all, that's how much of the middle class lives. And then when I think about that, I start to wonder if I'll wake up one day at 40 and have a mid-life crisis.

One thing that I don't wonder about my American Dream is whether or not I am copying the traditional heterosexual lifestyle. Once, when I was an undergraduate majoring in philosophy, I would have looked at that and labeled myself a sellout. I would have said that I was trying to fit into a heterosexual world, one that is not authentic even to itself, and I would have reminded myself of the Leslie Feinberg quote: "We can never jettison enough of ourselves to become acceptable to those who hate us."

I have some of that old-self with me today, or I would not have even thought to address this criticism. And I don't really judge (or even care) how other people chose to follow their bliss, so for people who want to reject my dream and chase something else, good for them. But I think about the argument that I am selling out somehow, and I understand what I did not back when I was an undergraduate. There are reasons that people who are born to privilege choose to live a certain way. It's comfortable and safe. And what's more revolutionary than demanding acceptance in a world that wants to shut you out? In the words or Rita Mae Brown, "The goal of revolution is to get the good things to circulate."

Maybe it’s the very nature of the Democratic party to eschew central leadership, but I doubt that very much. I don’t think that Dems are that much different from Republicans, as far as political ambition and tactics go.What I think is that the Dems see that their party lacks a strong voice, and too many people want to fill that vacancy. It’s like having a football team where everyone wants to be a star. It’s better to have a bunch of mediocre athletes who can work well together than to have a bunch of star performers who try to outshine each other. (And being from Detroit I know exactly what can cause a football team to fail. Trust me on this.) Not everyone can be the quarterback, and not everyone can be a Presidential candidate.

Cold by John Smolens. It is about a man who escapes from prison in Michigan ’s Upper Peninsula during the winter, hence the title.

Je parler français, by David Sedaris. This is the French translation of Me Talk Pretty One Day. I read in French on occasion, but I rarely read “French literature” anymore. (Stuff like Balzac, Proust, Hugo, etc.) I got enough of that in college, thank you.

And, because I have a weird thing for Shakespeare, I read A Winter’s Tale.

I heard:

Oasis (What’s the Story) Morning Glory. I still like this CD.

Joshua Bell, playing Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy. It’s sublime, and he’s hot.

The Dave Brubeck Quartet, Time Out. Take five is the coolest piece ever written, period.

I went to:

Amazon

Ask Oxford

Le Monde

NPR

The New York Times

WDET

Yahoo! News