Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday culture and a hottie: Special Edition

[+/-] Culture is under the cut...



Now, I know all you big-city artistic types probably think I'm crazy, but once and a while I like to see a picture that actually LOOKS LIKE WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!!! I mean, most art these days is just crazy squiggles that look like they were done by a 4-year-old. Well, if you're like me, then you probably love today's artist: Thomas Kinkade.

Thomas Kinkade is called "The Painter of Light," and if you look at his work, you'll know why. Did you know that Thomas Kinkade is the world's most popular living artist? Well, it's TRUE! He sells more works each year than anyone else!! All those people can't be wrong!!

Thomas Kinkade's pictures are just so life-like!!! You can imagine yourself inside each one of them... and I love that! Plus, it's nice the way he uses so much of one color, so that you can pick out a picture that matches your furniture--and that is SO important.

Plus, Mr. Kinkade is a good Christian who espouses positive family values--something that is VERY MUCH LACKING from today's other artists. Here are three of his works. Aren't they just PRECIOUS??!!!


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Today's hottie is none other that America's Sweetie Clay Aiken!! Now, Mr. Aiken has been dogged by rumors about his sexuality, and for that I say "SHAME ON YOU, PAPARRAZI! And don't even get my started on that nasty Kathy Griffin woman! Anyway, I love little Clay... and he's such a nice boy. He's even wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet in one of these pictures. Oh! Such a SWEETIE!!



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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

By popular demand

The recipe I posted the day before yesterday got a lot of comments (well, a lot for my site... not a lot in an objective sense), so I thought I'd post another one of my favorites. This one is more vegetarian friendly.

Diabetic Coma in a Glass
(or, the best Margarita you've ever had)

1 can of lime-aid concentrate, thawed
1 20 oz bottle of 7-up (Do not cheat and use Sprite)
1 bottle of yellow beer (I like Corona)
1 bottle of tequila (I like the cheap kind that comes with a little plastic sombrero on the cap. I like to try to balance the sombrero on my cat after I've had a few.)
Sugar

Empty the limeaid can into a large pitcher. Fill the empty can with 7-up, and add that to the pitcher. Add the whole beer. Finally, fill the empty lime-aid can with tequila, and add that. You can add a little more tequila if you like... I always do. Stir the mixture gently (remember: stir it too hard and the beer/soda mixture will explode). Rub something wet on the rim of a glass--I'm not suggesting you use fresh lime, because that's a lot of work. I usually use the left-over 7-up. Rim the glass in sugar, and pour in your margarita. Enjoy.

Serves 1.


These go great with Angioplasty Burgers, by the way.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Links

Here: Go play with these for a while.

What is Urville? It's a remarkably detailed city which exists in the mind of 28-year-old Frenchman Gilles Trehin. The website shows maps and pictures of the city that Trehin has drawn. They're quite incredible--and they have a very French character.

This timeline of movie events is really cool. For example, did you know that Ashley J Williams arrived from the future to combat the Army of Darkness just 5 years before William Wallace was executed at The Tower of London?

These monks will refill your laser cartridge. Hey now--when did they stop making beer?

A rather disturbing film about venereal disease from Walt Disney. This video is a trip.
Monday, March 27, 2006

Want to have a heart attack? I've got the recipe.

I made my famous "Angioplasty Burgers" last night. These are a special treat, usually cooked to celebrate the arrival of Spring. They will bring a grown man to tears, and then to the cardiologist.

2 pounds ground sirloin (Note: I use sirloin for the taste; this should no way be construed as a health-smart choice.)
1 pound bacon
1 large onion
1 large tomato
8 whole-wheat buns (again, the whole wheat is for the texture and flavor, not for fiber)
1 small package Velveeta (hell yeah, and don't try to substitute real cheese, either)

First, fry the bacon over medium heat in a pan with deep sides. While the bacon is frying, shape the ground beef into eight patties. If you have time, slice the onion and the tomato as well. When the bacon is good and crispy, move it to a paper towel-lined plate, but do not remove the bacon grease from the heat. Next, put your hamburger buns face down in the still hot bacon grease. They will get all toasty and brown in a couple of minutes. Remove the buns, and put the meat patties in the grease. Fry the patties until the are a little crispy on both sides, and whatever you do, don't push down on the patties with the spatula. And don't flip them more times than necessary, either. Just leave the alone and let them cook. When they're done, assemble a burger with a meat patty, two slices of bacon, a slice of onion, a slice of tomato, and some Velveeta. Try and assemble them fairly quickly, while the burgers are still warm--you want the Velveeta to melt a little bit.

Serves 2.
Friday, March 24, 2006

Friday culture and a hottie

[+/-] Culture under the cut...


Alexander Calder was an American artist who is famous for his mobiles. Some sources claim that Calder invented the mobile; while that seems unlikely, he did make the mobile into a serious art form.

Here are some of Calder's works.



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Apple Monster


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Gibraltar


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Leaves



Today's hottie is Shane West.


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Thursday, March 23, 2006

The coolest thing I've heard all year

As you know, the State of South Dakota recently leaped back into the 1960's, outlawing abortions of any kind (except to save a mother's life) throughout the state.

Well, Cecilia Fire Thunder, the President of the Oglala Sioux Tribe, has said that she plans on establishing a Planned Parenthood on tribal lands. Remember your history, here: Tribal lands are sovereign nations, and are not under the jurisdiction of state laws.

Rock on, sistah!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Only if you're a water buffalo

One of my many spam e-mails today:


OUR PRODUCT WILL GIVE YOU A 20-POUND PENIS!!


Of course, I deleted it. Equally because I don't believe such a product would work and for the terrible fear that came over me when I thought about what would happen if it did.
Monday, March 20, 2006

Bonnie Shortbread

I went to a trivia party last Friday evening (this is what dorks do for fun). I wanted to bring something traditionally Irish, last Friday being St Patrick's day, so I purchased a box of Lorna Doones. (Yes, I know, Shortbread is a traditional Scottish food, but hey--my partner wanted to buy Milano cookies. I pointed out that Scotland is much closer to Ireland than Italy.)

Anyway, the box of Lorna Doones proclaimed, in white letters on field of red, that the cookies were "NOW BETTER TASTING!" Admittedly, this is a vague claim. It's a little like sending a Christmas card that reads, "Have a merrier Christmas." But I was intrigued, because personally, I never found any fault with the old version of the cookie: I mean, shortbread is basically flour, sugar and butter. Where can you go wrong with that?

So I took the box to the party, and the collected nerds trivia experts consumed them. Afterwards, we reached unanimous consent: The BETTER TASTING Lorna Doones taste so much like the former Lorna Doones that no one even noticed a difference.

However, I did notice that the entire box of shortbread was eaten. Only half of fancy-schmancy bakery cookies my friend brought were eaten, and none of the Milanos. So, perhaps the folks at Kraft didn't mean that the Lorna Doone had been changed somehow; perhaps they meant that Scottish shortbreads are NOW BETTER TASTING than other types of cookies.

Of course, I already knew that.
Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday: Culture and a hottie

[+/-] Culture is under the cut...


Today, in honor of Saint Patrick's Day, I'm going to give you some Irish poets(1).

The first is William Butler Yeats. His poetry sought to capture a specifically Gaelic identity. Yeats had an interesting personal life, serving as a Senator in Ireland, as well as becoming involved in the occult. Yeats is known for his naturalist poetry--here is an example:


The Lake Island of Innisfree

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the mourning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.



John Hewitt was born October 28, 1907 in Belfast. He died in June 1987. During his life, he achieved some regional fame with his work. Hewitt was very active in politics, working for the British Labour Party and the Belfast Peace League. Here is one of his poems.

If I should be remembered after this

If I should be remembered after this,
pray providence it be by happy men
who do not feel the skull behind the kiss,
the bony knuckles round the rusting pen,

but summon from the stiff archaic words
a heart whose pulse in its best moments was
free on the wing, as natural as the birds,
as clear and common as the year's first grass.

For I was nourished by the normal year,
leafmold and frosted clod and sudden rain,
and though a sick age ran its steep career
the quiet voices were not all in vain.



Oliver Goldsmith was an Irish writer known mostly for his works The Vicar of Wakefield and She Stoops to Conquer. Here is a poem from The Vicar of Wakefield:

An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog

Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear unto my song;
And if you find it wond'rous short,
It cannot hold you long.
In Isling town there was a man,
Of whom the world might say,
That still a godly race he ran,
Whene'er he went to pray.

A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes;
The naked every day he clad,
When he put on his cloaths.

And in that town a dog was found,
As many dogs there be,
Both mungrel, puppy, whelp, and hound,
And curs of low degree.

This dog and man at first were friends;
But when a pique began,
The dog, to gain his private ends,
Went mad and bit the man.

Around from all the neighbouring streets,
The wondering neighbours ran,
And swore the dog had lost his wits,
To bite so good a man.

The wound it seem'd both sore and sad,
To every Christian eye;
And while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die.

But soon a wonder came to light,
That shew'd the rogues they lied,
The man recovered of the bite,
The dog it was that dy'd.

----

1) The very astute will notice that these poets have something in common.



Today's hottie is Kyle Brandon Lowder. Who is Kyle Brandon Lowder? I don't know. But he went to Syracuse University, and that's good enough for me.



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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Brief post, but a post none the less

I'm sorry that I've been neglecting you, dear readers. You see, I've been ever-so-busy at work lately, and I just haven't had the time to sit down and think of anything interesting to write. That, and I'm fighting off a cold--unsuccessfully, so far. I couldn't let another day pass without posting something, however.

The other day Jason and I were having a discussion about parenting strategies. I was expressing how it's important to create an environment that is supportive for children. Also, it's important to model positive behaviors, because children grow up to resemble their parents more often than not.

Jason responded: "Yes, but unconditional love can take the fight out of someone."
Monday, March 13, 2006

Meme

Jay and I saw Blackthorn, a local Irish band, on Saturday night. They're hella cool, and 'tis the season for Irish-themed activities.

Also, we did some shopping for the house, purchasing a new light for the front porch, and some plants for the yard.

I'm sure that this is interesting to no one but me; funny, the most satisfying weekends make the dullest posts. And this was a really good weekend, so I have a feeling that this is going to be a really boring entry.

So I'm doing a meme.

Instructions: Search for each of these things on Google Image Search, without using quotations marks. Then, post the picture you like best from the first page of results.


1. The city and state of the town in which you up.

2. The town where you currently reside.

3. Your name, first and last, but again, no quotes. (My picture actually appears as one of the results... how cool is that!)

4. Your grandmother's name. (Paternal)
Your grandmother's name. (Maternal)

5. A favorite food.

6. A favorite drink.

7. A favorite smell.
Friday, March 10, 2006

Friday culture and a hottie

Ed: I can't get the cut to work today, and I really don't have the time to figure out what the fuck went wrong, so you're just going to have to suffer through the culture part. Or scroll past it.


William Matthews was an American poet from Ohio. Matthews' work is not terribly well-known, which is a shame, and may be due to his death at a fairly young age: Matthews died on November 12, 1997, the day after his fifty-fifth birthday. Here are two of his poems.


Job Interview

Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's wife
He would have written sonnets all his life?
DON JUAN, III, 63-4

"Where do you see yourself five years from now?"
the eldest male member (or is "male member"
a redundancy?) of the committee
asked me. "Not here," I thought. A good thing I

speak fluent Fog. I craved that job like some
unappeasable, taunting woman.
What did Byron's friend Hobhouse say after
the wedding? "I felt as if I had buried

a friend." Each day I had that job I felt
the slack leash at my throat and thought what was
its other trick. Better to scorn the job than ask
what I had ever seen in it or think

what pious muck I'd ladled over
the committee. If they believed me, they
deserved me. As luck would have it, the job
lasted me almost but not quite five years.



A Poetry Reading At West Point

I read to the entire plebe class,
in two batches. Twice the hall filled
with bodies dressed alike, each toting
a copy of my book. What would my
shrink say, if I had one, about
such a dream, if it were a dream?

Question and answer time.
"Sir," a cadet yelled from the balcony,
and gave his name and rank, and then,
closing his parentheses, yelled
"Sir" again. "Why do your poems give
me a headache when I try

to understand them?" he asked. "Do
you want that?" I have a gift for
gentle jokes to defuse tension,
but this was not the time to use it.
"I try to write as well as I can
what it feels like to be human,"

I started, picking my way care-
fully, for he and I were, after
all, pained by the same dumb longings.
"I try to say what I don't know
how to say, but of course I can't
get much of it down at all."

By now I was sweating bullets.
"I don't want my poems to be hard,
unless the truth is, if there is
a truth." Silence hung in the hall
like a heavy fabric. My own
head ached. "Sir," he yelled. "Thank you. Sir."



Todays hottie is Rick Yune.


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Thursday, March 09, 2006

I will miss you, Daniel V.

Well, another season of Project: Runway is behind us. Which means that I'm going to have a gaping hole in my TV-viewing schedule on Wednesday nights. The good folks at Bravo! are trying to get me to watch Top Chef, but I just don't think that the cooking show will work out as well as the fashion design show.

In any case, I'm glad that Chloe won, despite the fact that I'm deeply in love with Daniel V. Chloe's runway was beautiful, and she deserved the prize. I would like to point out that I totally called this, too. I said, "Daniel will go all the way to the end, and then Chloe will win." And I was right.

Oh, and it was nice when the judges debating the runway shows didn't even consider Santino. Best quote: "Well, obviously it's between Chloe and Daniel." Damn straight!


Chloe's work:

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Oh, and I just had to post this picture. Hopefully, Andrae won't embarrass Tim this time around.

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Three pieces of commentary

1)

Yes, Brokeback Mountain probably should have won the Oscar for best picture. I'm not saying Crash wasn't a good movie, but it wasn't as important as Brokeback. Yes, racism is still worth talking about, but there are many, many excellent movies dealing with race (dare I say, better movies than Crash, even). Brokeback Mountain was innovative in the way that it addressed sexuality, and for that, it deserved the award.

But it's time to unbunch your panties, people. There is a reason that Woody Allen always skips the awards--the Oscars may be the most publicized of the movie awards, but they are not the best. And the "Best Picture" Oscar is often awarded to the wrong movie. Remember such past undeserving winners as Titanic, Braveheart, Forrest Gump, Rocky, Gladiator, and Dances with Wolves. As for movies that should have won the award but didn't, Brokeback Mountain joins Citizen Kane, A Streetcar Named Desire, Double Indemnity, Dr. Strangelove, Taxi Driver, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.


2)

Missouri state legislature proposes making Christianity the official state religion. The good folks of the "Show Me" state are just consideration a resolution, and not a bill, so this won't actually outlaw other religious practices (yet), but it's still a little worrisome--particularly since this bill is being sold on the grounds that it "protects majority rights." Help me out here: Why is it necessary to protect the rights of the majority again?

3)

You may have heard about the 12-year-old boy who stuck a piece of gum on a $1.5 million painting in the Detroit Institute of Arts? Read the Detroit Free Press article on the subject. My favorite line: "Of course, sometimes boys will be boys." Mmmm... That's good journalism!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Soon they'll be chucking a fetus down the runway in heels and a hat.

OK, I haven't been watching American Idol this season. I tuned in for the first time last Thursday, and I was reminded of the Patsy Stone quote which is the title of this post when I saw "Kevin."


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"God bless us, every one!"

And on the other end of the spectrum, we have "Taylor." His profile says he's 29 years old. It's been a hard life for Ol' Taylor, I guess:

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"Back in my day, we didn't have American Idol ring tones..."
Monday, March 06, 2006

Book Meme

Meme stolen from Terry.


A book that made you cry: Stone Butch Blues, Leslie Feinberg

A book that scared you: I don't read a lot of horror, so I'm going to say The Lies of George W Bush, by David Corn.

A book that made you laugh: Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris

A book in High School that you loved: To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee.

A book in High School that you hated: A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens. (I mean, puh-lease. Two people who are not related, yet are identical?)

A book that challenged your imagination: Challenged how, exactly? I don't really understand this question. I suppose The Fifth Sacred Thing, by Starhawk, would count.

A book that challenged your morals: I really can't think of one. Sorry.

A book that challenged your identity: Becoming a Man, Paul Monette

A book series that you love: A Song of Ice and Fire, by George R. R. Martin. Runner-up would be His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman.

Your favorite Horror Novel: I've read precious few, but one stand-out is Dracula, by Bram Stoker.

Your favorite Science Fiction Novel: Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card

Your favorite Fantasy Novel: The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien. It's Lord of the Rings, but with 3,000 fewer pages. A runner-up would be American Gods, by Neil Gaiman.

Your favorite Romance Novel: If they mean any novel in which romance is a theme, then I'd say Madame Bovary, by Flaubert. If they mean Bodice-rippers, then I've only ever read one: The India Fan, by Victoria Holt.

Your favorite "Coming-of-Age" Novel: Rubyfruit Jungle, by Rita Mae Brown

Your favorite book not listed previously: Gee, since there was no category for "General Fiction" or "Literature," I have a whole lot of favorites that are not on the list: The Good Earth, by Pearl Buck; Dangerous Liaisons, by de Laclos; and Madame Rosa, by Roman Gary are three which spring to mind.
Friday, March 03, 2006

Friday culture and a hot guy, sponsered by YouTube

[+/-] Get cultured...


Frederic Francois Chopin was born on (or near, anyway) March 1, in 1810. Chopin, who has appeared in this blog before, is one of my favorite composers. He wrote almost exclusively for the piano, and while his music is beautiful, technically challenging, and impressive, he never sacrifices musicality for showmanship. Read more abuot the great composer here.

Personlly, I think that it's as enjoyable to watch Chopin as it is to hear him. So here are three videos of his music, courtsey of YouTube.

Here, Sviatoslav Richter plays an Etude by Chopin. (And yes, that is the actual speed.)

Sviatoslav Richter again, playing another Etude.

Here Evgeny Kissin plays Chopin's Grand Valse.



Todays hotties are also courtsey of YouTube. Click to see the video. (There's shirtless guys, but no nudity, so make up your own mind if it is safe for work or not.)

Ryan Phillipe, from Cruel Intentions .

Adam Rickett

Ryan Reynolds and a fucked-up dog, from Blade III.
Thursday, March 02, 2006

I have returned...

... and I am in one piece, more or less. I had a good time in the frozen North of Minnesota. Much hot cocoa was consumed. Several walks were taken. Much passive voice was used.

I love my yearly trips to Minnesota in February. It's nice to connect with people that I get to see only once a year. And it's refreshing to spend a week in the woods. I'm not really fully back to my mundane world yet, so you'll excuse me if this post is short and dull; I want to bask in the post-vacation glow, so I don't plan on doing much today--and that includes blogging.

And when people ask me if I plan on going back next year, I respond, "Oh ya, you betcha."


Don't cha know.

Narcissist, table for one?

Our Hero

I see you're experiencing transference.

Tell me about your mother.

Come, sit on the couch.

There is the small matter of my fee...

Trivia!

You can find this site by Googling "Uninteresting urethra excerpts." Now that's hot.


Consumption

Poem of the Day:

Click here


Remember what Sartre said about other people?



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