Friday, September 30, 2005

Friday culture and a hottie

Make your donation to AIDS Walk Michigan! Today is the last day!

[+/-] Culture is under the cut..


From Travis' website I discovered Jamey Baumgardt. His art is political; he comments on the consumerism of American culture. You can read his biography here. Here are three examples of his work.

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Baseball Studies I-VI

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Cereal CMYK

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Selling the War


Today's hottie is a long-time crush of mine: LL Cool J.


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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Maybe if you say "I am not a crook" people will believe you.

If you haven't donated to AIDS Walk Michigan yet, click here to do it.


Jay's class was canceled last night, so he joined me for my Night of Sloth. We walked to the Indian restaurant downtown and binged on chicken makhani and naan. You know you're all jealous.

The new season of Veronica Mars started last night, and I was so excited that I almost peed myself. If you're not watching Veronica Mars yet, you should start.

And, of course, you've heard the news by now that Tom DeLay was indicted. DeLay responded by saying, "I didn't do anything wrong. The Democrats just don't like me." Then he pounded his little fists on the floor and kicked his little feet.

The Republicans have moved Roy Blunt to the position of temporary House majority leader, prompting jokes about Republicans "being Blunt while DeLay is delayed."
Wednesday, September 28, 2005

News

Hmm... what's up in the land of Matt?

Well, I grow ever fatter, but that's hardly the kind of thing that makes news.

Oh, but there is some big news today! Architeuthis, or The Giant Squid, which has always been considered one of the mysteries of the ocean, has been recorded live on video for the first time ever.

Someone should notify Todd Mundt. (I debated posting this link for Todd instead, but I didn't. Oh wait... I guess I just did.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Tuesday--links

This is the last week for AIDS Walk Michigan. Please click on the hottie and donate some money.
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I took yesterday off and spent the day lying around the house doing crossword puzzles and reading. It was a good day.

Today, you get links.
Unique gifts for the home. Very funny.

Super Mario the Opera. Watch the trailer.

The religious right is claiming that the movie March of the Penguins is an argument for, among other things, intelligent design and family values. Of course, they don't mention the existence of gay penguins.

A pickled dragon. It looks pretty cool.
Friday, September 23, 2005

Friday culture and hotties

[+/-] See it...


"Slow dulcimer, gavotte and bow, in autumn,
Basho and his friends go out to view the moon;
In summer, gasoline rainbow in the gutter,"


If you're a poetry buff, you recognize this as the opening line of Robert Pinsky's poem "Impossible to Tell." Pinskey was the poet laureate of the US from 1997 until 2000. Pinsky once guest starred in an episode of the Simpsons, after disclosing he was a fan of that show in 1998.

Take a moment and read the entire text of "Impossible to Tell." You'll be glad you did.

Slow dulcimer, gavotte and bow, in autumn,
Basho and his friends go out to view the moon;
In summer, gasoline rainbow in the gutter,


The secret courtesy that courses like ichor
Through the old form of the rude, full-scale joke,
Impossible to tell in writing. "Basho"


He named himself, "Banana Tree": banana
After the plant some grateful students gave him,
Maybe in appreciation of his guidance


Threading a long night through the rules and channels
Of their collaborative linking-poem
Scored in their teacher's heart: live, rigid, fluid


Like passages etched in a microscopic cicuit.
Elliot had in his memory so many jokes
They seemed to breed like MicroVAX in a culture


Inside his brain, one so much making another
It was impossible to tell them all:
In the court-culture of jokes, a top banana.


Imagine a court of one: the queen a young mother,
Unhappy, alone all day with her frostbite child
And her new baby in a squalid apartment


Of too few rooms, a different race from her neighbors.
She tells the child she's going to kill herself.
She broods, she rages. Hoping to distract her,


The child cuts capers, he sings, he does imitations
Of different people in the building, he jokes,
He feels if he keeps her alive until the father


Gets home from work, they'll be okay till morning.
It's laughter versus the bedroom and the pills.
What is he in his efforts but a courtier?


Impossible to tell his whole delusion.
In the first months when I had moved back East
From California and had to leave a message


On Bob's machine, I used to make a habit
Of telling the tape a joke; and part-way through,
I would pretend that I forgot the penciling,


Or make believe that I was interrupted--
As though he'd be so eager to hear the end
He'd have to call me back. The joke was elites,


More often than not. The doctors made the blunder
That killed him some time later that same year.
One day when I got home I found a message


On my machine from Bob. He had a story
About two rabies, one of them tall, one short,
One day while walking along the street together


They see the corpse of a Chinese man before them,
And Bob said, sorry, he forgot the rest.
Of course he thought that his joke was a dummy,


Impossible to tell--a dead-end challenge.
But here it is, as Elliot told it to me:
The dead man's widow came to the rabies weeping,


Begging them, if they could, to resurrect him.
Shocked, the tall rabbi said absolutely not.
But the short rabbi told her to bring the body


Into the study house, and ordered the shutters
Closed so the room was night-dark. Then he prayed
Over the body, chanting a secret blessing


Out of Kabul. "Arise and breathe," he shouted;
But nothing happened. The body lay still. So then
The little rabbi called for hundreds of candles


And danced around the body, chanting and praying
In Hebrew, then Yiddish, then armies. He prayed
In Turkish and Egyptian and Old glassine


For nearly three hours, leaping about the coffin
In the candlelight so that his tiny black shoes
Seemed not to touch the floor. With one last prayer


Sobbed in the Spanish of before the Inquisition
He stopped, exhausted, and looked in the dead man's face.
Panting, he raised both arms in a mystic gesture


And said, "Arise and breathe!" And still the body
Lay as before. Impossible to tell
In words how elites eyebrows flailed and snorted


Like shaggy mimetic as--the Chinese widow
Granting permission--the little rabbi sang
The blessing for performing a circumcision


And removed the dead man's foreskin, chanting blessings
In Finnish and Swahili, and bathed the corpse
From head to foot, and with a final prayer


In Babylonian, gasping with exhaustion,
He seized the dead man's head and kissed the lips
And dropped it again and leaping back commanded,


"Arise and breathe!" The corpse lay still as ever.
At this, as when Basho's disciples wind
Along the curving spine that links the renga


Across the different voices, each one adding
A transformation according to the rules
Of stasis and repetition, all in order


And yet impossible to tell beforehand,
Elliot changes for the punchline: the wee
Rabbi, still panting, like a startled boxer,


Looks at the dead one, then up at all those watching,
A kind of Mel Brooks gesture: "Hoo boy!" he says,
"Now that's what I call really dead." O mortal


Powers and princes of earth, and you immortal
Lords of the underground and afterlife,
Jehovah, Raa, Bol-Morah, Hecate, Pluto,


What has a brilliant, living soul to do with
Your harps and fires and boats, your bric-a-brac
And troughs of smoking blood? Provincial stinkers,


Our languages don't touch you, you're like that mother
Whose small child entertained her to beg her life.
Possibly he grew up to be the tall rabbi,


The one who washed his hands of all those capers
Right at the outset. Or maybe he became
The author of these lines, a one-man renga


The one for whom it seems to be impossible
To tell a story straight. It was a routine
Procedure. When it was finished the physicians


Told Sandra and the kids it had succeeded,
But Elliot wouldn't wake up for maybe an hour,
They should go eat. The two of them loved to bicker


In a way that on his side went back to Yiddish,
On Sandra's to some Sicilian dialect.
He used to scold her endlessly for smoking.


When she got back from dinner with their children
The doctors had to tell them about the mistake.
Oh swirling petals, falling leaves! The movement


Of linking renga coursing from moment to moment
Is meaning, Bob says in his Haiku book.
Oh swirling petals, all living things are contingent,


Falling leaves, and transient, and they suffer.
But the Universal is the goal of jokes,
Especially certain ethnic jokes, which taper


Down through the swirling funnel of tongues and gestures
Toward their preposterous Ithaca. There's one
A journalist told me. He heard it while a hero


Of the South African freedom movement was speaking
To elderly Jews. The speaker's own right arm
Had been blown off by right-wing letter-bombers.


He told his listeners they had to cast their ballots
For the ANC--a group the old Jews feared
As "in with the Arabs." But they started weeping


As the old one-armed fighter told them their country
Needed them to vote for what was right, their vote
Could make a country their children could return to


From London and Chicago. The moved old people
Applauded wildly, and the speaker's friend
Whispered to the journalist, "It's the Belgian Army


Joke come to life." I wish I could tell it
To Elliot. In the Belgian Army, the feud
Between the Flemings and Walloons grew vicious,


So out of hand the army could barely function.
Finally one commander assembled his men
In one great room, to deal with things directly.


They stood before him at attention. "All Flemings,"
He ordered, "to the left wall." Half the men
Clustered to the left. "Now all Walloons," he ordered,


"Move to the right." An equal number crowded
Against the right wall. Only one man remained
At attention in the middle: "What are you, soldier?"


Saluting, the man said, "Sir, I am a Belgian."
"Why, that's astonishing, Corporal--what's your name?"
Saluting again, "Rabinowitz," he answered:


A joke that seems at first to be a story
About the Jews. But as the renga describes
Religious meaning by moving in drifting petals


And brittle leaves that touch and die and suffer
The changing winds that riffle the gutter swirl,
So in the joke, just under the raucous music


Of Fleming, Jew, Walloon, a courtly allegiance
Moves to the dulcimer, gavotte and bow,
Over the banana tree the moon in autumn--


Allegiance to a state impossible to tell.




On to today's hotties...

People into wrestling are always looking for ways to make the sport more popular. I have often thought the correction equation is: Nudity + Oil = Popular Wrestling.

However, some people are betting on beach wrestling, which is pretty much what it sounds like. Anyway, I found pictures from a beach wrestling championships in Long Beach, NY while surfing. I am posting them for your enjoyment.


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Thursday, September 22, 2005

I am not making this up, sadly.

Have you heard that Columbia Christians for Life believe they have found evidence that Katrina was God's punishment for abortions--apparently, in the giant Rorschach that is a weather map, these folks have seen a resemblance to a 6-week old-fetus. Do you see the fetus in the picture?

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Well, I wonder what the good folks at Columbia would think of the most recent pictures of Rita?


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Sometimes, it's just a cigar, people. (Yes, that's an actual picture... click on it to follow it to its source if you don't believe me.)

Random

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Click on the underwear ad from the 70's to make your donation to AIDS Walk Detroit.


Life in the Land of Matt has been pretty eventful lately, but unfortunatly it's not the kind of thing that I'm going to blog about. See, that's the trouble with using your real name in blogs--you don't get to write about the really personal stuff.

What I will share is that I have a really, really nasty cold. Sore throat, aches and pains, the works. I feel like I'm moving through cotton. If you have any good cold remedies, let me know. My friend Carrie suggested lavender-flavored chocolate, which I thought she had dreamed, but it turns out that such a thing exists. Mmmmm...

Oh, and because I haven't been random enough yet, I found a quote from Herbert Hoover that I thought is worth sharing.
When we are sick, we want an uncommon doctor; when we have a construction job to do, we want an uncommon engineer, and when we are at war, we want an uncommon general. It is only when we get into politics that we are satisfied with the common man.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It's Wednesday--you know what that means.

First, let me suggest that if you haven't made your donation to AIDS Walk Detroit, you should click on the hottie and do it now.
subliminal message: donate money


Is anyone else out there watching the WB's new show Supernatural? I've seen the first two episodes, and so far it's pretty creepy. It's described as Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets X Files, which is fairly accurate, although it tends to have more "spooky stuff" (like X files) and less "character development" (like Buffy). Check it out, if you like that sort of thing.

Or, check it out if you just want to see Jensen Ackles.

I want you do donate to AIDS Walk, too!

In Matt-related news, tonight is my Night of Sloth, so you can all rest easy knowing that I plan on binging on ribs washed down with liberal quantities of plonk. Yes, I'm a sexy beast.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Still sick.

I am dying, Egypt, dying; only
I here importune death awhile, until
Of many thousand links the poor last
I lay upon my blog.

I'm feeling sick today, so you all get some links.
Pill earrings. Take the wires off before you take the pills.

Dogs in bee costumes, or "Bee Dogs," as they're known in the biz.

Custom bicycles. Worth a look.

Lock up your ice cream. Thank you, Ben and Jerry's!

Executive sex toys. You say you want a silver cock ring with diamonds in it? Look no further!
Monday, September 19, 2005

I declare tomorrow "Swear Like a Sailor Day."

Today, I feel like crap. Sore throat, aches and pains... the works. I want to go home and crawl into my bed and pull the cats under the covers with me. I want to eat Campbell's soup and drink tea.

Oy.

In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm encourging ye all to haul yer ass over to the AIDS Walk Detroit Website and donate some booty. Aarr.



Five Pick-up lines used by Pirates

5) I got two wooden limbs now that I see you, me beauty! Yar!

4) Ahoy, me pretty--it ain't your deck I be wanting to swab.

3) Would ye like to see me Jolly Roger? By which I mean, of course, me flag consisting of a skull an' crossbones in a field o' solid black. And then, perhaps, might ye suck me off?

2) You know, me pretty, they can cure syphilis these days.

1) Yar... so you be the new cabin boy?
Friday, September 16, 2005

Friday culture and a hot guy (back by popular demand!)

AIDS Walk Detroit: if you haven't made your donation yet, go do it.

[+/-] Culture is under the cut...



Wendell Castle is an American furniture artist who was born in Kansas in 1932. Castle earned a BFA from the University of Kansas in Industrial Design and an MFA in sculpture, completing his formal education in 1961. Since then Castle has created unique works of furniture, blurring the line between furniture and sculpture. Castle's work demonstrates great craftmanship. Castle walks the line between form and function--while his pieces are aesthetically striking, his works are also meant to be used as furniture. He has created works for private residences and public spaces.

Enjoy three of his pieces below.

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A striking piano.

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A desk.

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This bench is in the Detroit Institute of Arts.


Today's hottie is Chris Pratt, one of the men from TV's Everwood.

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Thursday, September 15, 2005

"The Aristocrats" throughout history

First, a word about AIDS Walk Detroit...

So far I've raised $5 for AIDS Walk Detroit. (Thank you, Naarah!) People, we can do better than that. Don't make me start calling you all out by name--and you know I will, bitches.

Click here to be a good person and give money.


Emily Dickinson

First children enter the stage,
their parents follow in after.
Before long the family and stage
alike are covered in fecal matter.

Unspeakable acts they do perform
accompanied by wild applause.
Then come the grandparents, and the
donkeys--this gives the audience pause--

The labors done in the name of fame
are hardly automatic;
Yet no one works quite as hard
as this act aristocratic.

Nietzsche

What need had Dionysus to maintain social conventions? The repressive Christian Tradition has so saturated our artistic expression that acts in which men love dogs, women love children, and the audience is covered in vomit are outlawed! How far has our culture fallen, that we are unable to experience, as our forefathers did, the sensation of being covered by vomit!


Karl Marx

This act is, obviously, an allegory for class struggle. Why, the very name of the act is "The Aristocrats!" And, like their namesakes, the Aristocrats flout moral conventions to satisfy their own appetites and desires. In the process, the audience--who represents the proletariat--gets covered with the bodily excrement of the Aristocrats. When we see an act of this nature on stage we become angry--yet, this very action occurs daily in our society and not one of us stirs!


Socrates

Socrates: I have a question for you, Thrasymachus--Is that which is Aristocratic that which is loved by the Aristocrats, or is it that which is loved by Aristocrats which is called Aristocratic?
Thrasymachus: No offense, Socrates, but from what I've heard, the Aristocrats, apparently, would love anything that isn't nailed down, if you catch my meaning.
Socrates: Quite. Well, what about Justice, then?
Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Shaking the sugar tree

I ask you all for so little... Well, that's going to change.

As you may know, besides the private practice, I work with an agency called AIDS Partnership Michigan. The agency does great work with people who are HIV positive--I should know, because I'm one of the people doing the work, and I rock.

Anyway, the time of year of AIDS Walk Detroit is upon us again! That means that my agency is posting a list of everyone who has raised money, and how much they have raised. The list is posted right by the front door of the agency--I like to call it "The Wall of Shame."

As of this moment, I have not raised a single cent. But that's going to change, because I'm harnessing the power of the blog for good! I'm going to harass you for donations from now until the actual walk. Think of this like Public Radio, except with more swearing. (Fuck fuck damn hell ass fuck.)

I have learned the simple blogging equation: hot men = lots of hits. So, click on the hottie to make your donation. DO IT!

I'm pretty, and I'm buff, and I care about social causes! Click me to make a donation!

What's that, you say? Further incentive?

OK! If I raise enough money, I will tell you all my deepest, darkest secret. Oh yes, I will. And no, this isn't a ploy--there really is something kind of cool that I've been holding back. But if you want to know what it is, you will have to GIVE MONEY DAMMIT!

Lazy-ass post

Oh, Links! Where is thy depth?

Yeah, shut up. I've got nothing today. You get links.
I think this is perhaps the world's most addictive, and possibly most difficult, puzzle game.

Stupid quotes about Katrina.

Dennis Hastert floats the idea of returning the Louisanna Purchase to France. Ahh... satire...

I want a Stonehenge Pocket Watch.


Fin.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005

What happens to a dream deferred? The same thing that happens to everything else--it goes in the blog.

I am dreaming, and I know that I am dreaming because in real life I don't get to sleep with Tom Welling.

We are romping through the fields of gazing grain; hand in hand we fly past the setting sun. The air is warm and heavy with the scent of blackberries.

Suddenly, me leg explodes and I am in agony. The pain makes me cry out and I spring upright in bed, because the pain is real.

With adrenaline-fueled vision I see my cat remove his claws from my flesh and bolt across the bed.

This, then, is pet ownership.
Monday, September 12, 2005

Vox populi

OK, I guess everyone missed the hot guy on Friday. I even got e-mails from people requesting that I continue to post the hottie pictures. Because I'm a populist, I will return to the pictures of hotties. But you will have to wait until Friday.

The weekend was pretty bland. On Saturday I went to dinner with some friends. After dinner, we went back to our place and watched a DVD. I promptly fell asleep. Oh, yeah... I'm hella cool.

I stopped doing the Friday Five a while ago, because they were hyperlame, but I saw this recent Friday Five on Terry's blog, and it looked like fun.

Name your favorite....

1. Soothing sound:

The sound of a fan at night when I am trying to fall asleep comes to mind. Also, the sound of gentle rain on a window is very soothing. Another sound that occurs to me is the wind blowing through the leaves of the maple trees in our yard. And although I know it's stretching a little, I love the absolute quiet of a gentle blizzard.

2. Comfort food:

Mmmm... so many. Ribs spring to mind, as do brownies, chocolate chip cookies (sill gooey from the oven), and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Then there is my favorite wine, which I affectionately refer to as Chateau Detroit River. Oh, and cherry Kool-Aid.

3. Relaxing music:

In no particular order: Brahms' 4th Symphony (first and second movements), Tori Amos' album Under the Pink, Pink Floyd's album Wish You Were Here, Mozart's Piano Concerto #21 (known as the Elvira Madigan), anything by Philip Glass, Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows and Suzanne.

4. Gentle voice:

Men: Vin Diesel and Kelsey Grammer.

Women: Barbra Streisand and Julie Andrews.

5. Calming smell:

My absolute favorite smell is lavender, which reminds me of my childhood because my mom used to put little sachets in the linen closet, and all the sheets and towels smelled like lavender. My second favorite smell is patchouli, because deep at heart I am a dirty hippy.
Friday, September 09, 2005

On the banks of the Red Cedar...

I've just been pissing people off left and right this week, huh? First, by calling Anne Rice's piece on the NY Times sanctimonious bullshit, and then by dissing the Renaissance festival. Good for me.

--

I didn't blog yesterday because I went to a conference at my alma mater. I forgot how amazingly beautiful the campus is this time of year, when the sky is blue and the trees are just starting to change colors. (I also forgot how hot college guys can be, but that's another story.)

Michigan State has a reputation of being a party school--and it is. It also has a reputation of being a cow college--and, as the home of the highest-ranked veterinary school in the nation, it is. MSU is also one of the largest schools in the country in terms of student population, and probably the largest in terms of area. It is globally-focused school, and sends the third most students abroad of any university in the country. It has rigorous academic programs and first-rate sports teams (particularly basketball). Additionally, MSU's long-time focus on horticulture means that it has, in my opinion, the most beautiful campus in the nation.

The years that I spent at Michigan State were probably the best in my life to date. I don't know what it was that made it so great--it could have been that I had no responsibilities other than studying philosophy and speaking French. It could have been that it was the first time I lived independently. Or maybe it was all the weed I smoked the solid group of friends I had at the time. I can't help but think that the university itself played some part in the whole experience--that I wouldn't have had the same experience somewhere else. The youthful spirit of 40,000-some people, the feeling that something was always happening, and the stunning pastoral beauty of MSU's campus are a potent combination.

Going back yesterday both reminded me of being an invincible 19-year-old on the verge of conquering the world, and also reminded me that I will never again be a naive 19-year-old with unbounded dreams.

Anyway, returning to MSU made me understand why people get all teary-eyed when they talk about their alma maters.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005

It's an odd mixture of bikers and geeks...

Things I learned from attending the Michigan Renaissance Festival this weekend:

1) Sometimes, geeks can be hot. Sometimes--but not very often.

2) Sometimes, the white trash can be hot, but only slightly more often than geeks.

3) Men should never have pony tails, and they should never have braided pony tails adorned with beads.

4) A suit of armor does not go well with a mullet.

5) Dorks are incapable of speaking in a reasonable volume.

6) Swear word technology has improved since the Renaissance: calling someone an "arse cockle" is not as effective as calling them a "fuck tard."

7) You better have a really good job if you want to be in SCA, becase $450 is a lot to spend to dress up like Captain Hook one weekend a year.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Angry letters, you say?

Apparently, people do read this blog, judging from the e-mails that I got in response to my open letter to Anne Rice. Here are snippets from three e-mails I have received, and my responses.


It is short-sighted of you to refuse to recognize that the genocide occurring in New Orleans is the responsibility of everyone in the country.
Wrong. The genocide--and I agree that "genocide" is exactly the word--of the poor and the black in New Orleans is everyone's responsibility. Many of us are, indeed, facing that responsibility in the most effective way that we can. I'm only speaking for myself here, but I honestly had no idea that the government would be caught with their pants down like this. I pay my taxes in good faith, knowing that most of the money goes to kill people against my will in countries across the ocean; however, I always assumed that Uncle Sam was storing away some of that money for a rainy day. I guess that I was wrong. I assumed that all the talk about "Homeland Security" wasn't just hot air--I tend to believe people when they tell me they are trying to make the country safer. And I think that most Americans are like me: we had no idea that New Orleans was in increased danger of being washed away because of Bush's policies. Now that the worst case scenario has come to pass, we are doing what we can. Unfortunately, the great agency that we had trusted to do this work in our proxy, our government, fucked up.


It sounds like you are blaming the victims.
Read more carefully, then. I understand that the people who were caught in the flood did not have the ability to leave the city. I understand that people who are desperate will resort to stealing food if they are starving. I don't understand why it is acceptable lump everyone in America together and to criticize us for not doing enough. If the Feds are at a loss--if FEMA can't muster up a good response, what makes anyone think that private citizens could do any better? It is not fair to shift the responsibility from the government to the citizens because the government dropped the ball.


You are a white male, and have privilege. I am not surprised that you have no sympathy for the people of color who are dying in the streets of New Orleans.
What the fuck? Of course I have sympathy for people who are lost, sick, frightened and the dying. What I don't have sympathy for, or any time for, are the self-righteous who tell the world how they should live their lives. Which reminds me: I'm not going to dignify this with any further response.


The more that I think about the Anne Rice letter the angrier that I get. If you want to see an appropriate response, go here and read the open letter from the Times-Picayune. It expresses the same sentiment without the holier-than-thou crap in Rice's epistle.

If you wish to offend people, I encourage you to continue to do it with your fiction.

Jay and I made our donations... go make yours.

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And I highly encourage you all not to put money into somebody's boot, or in those "Katrina Relief" buckets at your local gas station. You have no idea where any of that money goes. Make sure that you give to a reputable charity--throwing money away is just as bad as not giving anything, in my opinion.

---

That being said, I want to take a moment to address this sanctimonious bullshit.

Dear Anne Rice:

You have every reason to be angry. Your home city was destroyed in a natural disaster that everyone saw coming for days in advance, and still help was slow to arrive. And when help did arrive, it was often insufficient. The loss of property is tragic, and the loss of life is so far beyond tragic that there is really no word to describe it.

However, in your poorly-conceived rant, you direct your anger at the wrong people. You say:
But to my country I want to say this: During this crisis you failed us. You looked down on us; you dismissed our victims; you dismissed us. You want our Jazz Fest, you want our Mardi Gras, you want our cooking and our music. Then when you saw us in real trouble, when you saw a tiny minority preying on the weak among us, you called us "Sin City," and turned your backs.
You are wrong. Millions of us in the rest of the nation have not turned our backs. Millions of Americans have, like myself, stretched ourselves and contributed either money, time or even our very blood.

Yes, I am aware that it sounds paltry merely to contribute money in the face of such a great cataclysm. But you will have to excuse me if I don't drop everything and drive to New Orleans, but I feel that I have several good reasons for remaining where I am. First of all, I owe something to my clients--people who themselves live below the poverty line. I feel that I have to take care of those who live in my backyard before I run around the country saving everyone else. (You may have heard of my hometown, the poorest city in the nation?) Second, I have no experience or training in rescue operations. Most likely, any vigilante crusade that I could dream up would get in the way and cause more confusion and damage.

Again I say that millions of Americans are doing everything that they can. Your country has not failed you, Mme Rice. Your government, on the other hand, probably did fail, and as we move away from this disaster hopefully those responsible will be held accountable. I would encourage you not to confuse "the government" with "the country," because criticizing those of us who are doing what we can smacks of biting the hand that is reaching out to you.
Friday, September 02, 2005

Friday is for culture and a hot guy

[+/-] Culture is under the cut...


Let's talk about the piano for a minute. Specifically, let's talk about Vladimir Horowitz, and the music that he transcribed for the piano. First, some backstory: Vladimir Horowitz was arguably the greatest pianist who ever lived. Horowitz's technique is flawless, and his ability to intrepret very diverse works was unmatched.

Like many performers, Horowitz found that the existing body of music for the piano didn't really showcase his technical potential. So, Horowitz made his own transcriptions of pre-existing music. Among other pieces, he transcribed Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2 and Mendelssohn's Wedding March.

Any pianists out there know that Liszt is exceptionally difficult as it is--the idea that somone would make the music even more difficult is mind-blowing. Horowitz did, and his versions are stunning. (I am currently working my way through Horowitz's version of Sousa's The Stars and Stripes Forever, and I can assure you that it is the most difficult thing I have ever played.)

Horowitz never actually published his transcriptions. That, coupled with the blinding difficulty of the music, meant that Horowitz's transcriptions went unplayed for decades.

Now, however, there is an interest in the Horowitz Transcriptions--a few very talented artists have written out the music and are performing and recording them. One such artist, Sean Bennett, has made some nice recordings of these pieces. You can download some of these recordings for free here.

I highly recommend Horowitz's version of Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2. This really has to be heard to be believed.

Also worth listening to is the Variations on "Turkish March". It's by another pianist--Arcadi Volodos, who I may write about in the future--but it's just as impressive.



Today's hottie is Lenny Kravitz.

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Thursday, September 01, 2005

Bad news

Head on over to CNN.com and check out the news about New Orleans. FEMA has suspended emergency rescue efforts because the city is too dangerous.

But White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan just briefed the nation--not to worry folks, the National Guard is on their way to New Orleans to restore peace. They should arrive in a couple of days.

A couple of days? Why is that acceptable? Why wasn't that National Guard moved into position when it became clear that Katrina was a class 5 storm heading for the coast?

Scott McClellan is refusing to respond to criticism, saying that this whole thing is about "partisan gain in Washington." That's funny, because to me it seems that it's about the Bush administration fucking up yet again.

But that's OK--he has to go on with his life, right?

Review of new candy--double header!

Twizzlers Pull-n-Peel Twisted Paradise

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Candy makes everywhere take note: while masturbation may effectively banish sexual desire, manual stimulation does not satisfy when it comes to food. In other words, no one cares that you can play with the damn candy if it tastes like rubber soaked in fruit juice.

Wonka Bar

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No, you won't find a golden ticket allowing you access to the brainsick dreams of a pedophile. And while that may disappoint some, I encourage you to try the Wonka Bar anyway because you will find an amazingly simple, yet effective, combination of milk chocolate and graham crackers. The Wonka Bar has just the right texture and taste and is at once satisfying and intriguing. My only criticism is that the chocolate could be of a higher quality, but since that is almost universally true of mass-market candy, I am not going to hold that against the good Oompahs at Wonka.

--

In other news, I know that we can't blame everything on That Man. However, The Daily Kos and AMERICAblog are making a pretty good case for blaming the devistation that Katrina caused on his administration. It seems that money that was needed to protect New Orleans from a hurricane had been spent on the war in Iraq instead. I encourage you to keep this story alive by pointing it out to friends and family.

Daily Kos
AMERICAblog

Narcissist, table for one?

Our Hero

I see you're experiencing transference.

Tell me about your mother.

Come, sit on the couch.

There is the small matter of my fee...

Trivia!

You can find this site by Googling "Uninteresting urethra excerpts." Now that's hot.


Consumption

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