|
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
The computer is dead. Long live the computer!
Last night my laptop died.
I cried a little, but I'm going to move on with my life. I'm going to try and have it fixed, but I have to be honest and say that I'm kind of excited at the prospect of getting a new machine. I've (mostly) decided that I'm going to go with a desktop for my next computer. I enjoy the portability of the laptop, but I want a powerful machine and I'm not willing to pay a premium for that portability. I can read a book when I go to a coffee shop, thank you very much. So now there are choices to be made. This one is the one that I would want, in a perfect world in which I had infinite money. I want the sexiness and the grace that comes with the Mac. Of course, my big concern about moving to Apple is compatibility. This one is the safe option. Good old reliable Dell. It's ugly and I hate Windows, but it's familiar. I can reasonable expect that it will do most of what I want for the next couple of years. Hmmm...
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
They started dating when she was 12 and he was 20
Go read this article. (OK, here's a summary: two Nebraska residents, a 22-year-old man and a 14-year-old girl, crossed over into Kansas and got married when they found out that the young girl was pregnant with his child. The marriage is legal because in Kansas children as young as 12 can get married with parental consent, and this girl's parents gave consent.)
But wait--it gets better. The happy couple has a new daughter, and now the husband is being charged with statutory rape, because Nebraska law makes no exception for The husband has this to say about the prosecutor in the case: "He's a home wrecker. He's trying to rip a father away from a child, and rip a husband away from a wife." Yes, that's exactly what this case is about. It certainly wouldn't be about grown men fucking little girls... noooo... that couldn't be. Although, apparently many people support the couple. Some law professor at Trailer Park State University had this to say about the case: "It's odd that the state would be prosecuting someone who did not leave the girl pregnant and unwed." Right... If a grown man gets a 8th grader pregnant, he should do the right thing and marry her. That's in the Bible somewhere, I think.
Monday, August 29, 2005
I wasn't tagged; I'm just stealing.
First, I want to point out that I my friend Fur ("Jennifer" to the mundanes) reads my blog. I'm amazed, because I haven't heard from Fur in a couple of years, and then suddenly I get a comment from her. Welcome, Fur! It's good to see you! And, if you wouldn't mind, could you send me an e-mail with your contact information?
Now on to the business at hand. Here's a Monday morning meme because I'm too tired to do anything of substance. Sevens Seven things you plan to do before you die: 1) Visit India 2) Adopt children 3) Become a doctor of something 4) Publish a book 5) Retire 6) Lose 7) Live in a small town Seven things you can do: 1) A really good impersonation of Sean Connery 2) Touch my tounge to my nose--hot! 3) Cross my eyes 4) Make a cheese souffle 5) Name all 50 states in alphabetical order 6) Drive a stick shift 7) Find a parking space anywhere, anytime--Honestly I can. If there is parking, I will find it. Seven things you can NOT do: 1) Sing--When I try to sing, milk goes bad and flowers wilt. 2) Whistle--I've never been able to figure it out. 3) Ride in any vehicle without getting motion sick 4) Dive into a pool without doing a belly-flop 5) Tie a bow tie--And I've always wanted to learn. 6) Get lost 7) Touch a centipede and not freak out Seven things that attract you to the 1) Nice eyes--Preferably blue or green, and I like guys with large, puppy dog eyes. 2) Big arms--I'm a sucker for muscles. 3) Broad shoulders 4) Height--I like men who are really, really tall--like 6'4" and up. 5) Sense of humor 6) Short hair--I hate it when guys have long hair. Yuck. 7) Deep voices Seven things you say most: 1) "Dude." I find it's a nice, universal way to address people. 2) "Every good deed has it's own punishment." 3) "Never eat more than you can lift." 4) "Learn something new every day." 5) "For the love of fuck." This should probably be number one on the list. 6) "Rage!" Usually I shake my fist for effect when I say this. 7) "Just for shits and giggles..." Seven Celebrity Crushes: 1) Can I put Vin Diesel for all seven? No? OK, fine... 2) Tom Welling 3) Randy Orton 4) Tommy Rowlands 5) Landon Lueck 6) Jason Gould (Yes, it's because of his parents. Sue me.) 6) Eric Himan 7) Seann William Scott
Friday, August 26, 2005
Friday is for culture and a hot guy.
First, I want to give you all a heads up that my friend Carrie has updated her blog. Her blog is probably the funniest I have ever read, even though she updates it only four times a year. Go read it.
[+/-] Culture is under the cut...Tchaikovsky's 4th symphony is one of those pieces--the kind of composing that takes advantage of the orchestra's full potential. (Personally, it is one of my favorite of Tchaikovsky's works, second only to the very underplayed 2nd Symphony.) The composer wrote in a letter that the music is programmatic--that is, it describes something. In this case, the music describes the human condition of trying to achieve happiness only to be thwarted by fate. Keep in mind that Tcaikovsky was far from stable. He spent most of his life attempting to reconcile himself with his sexuality. The end of the symphony, however, has a somewhat triumphant feel to it. As if the composer recognizes that he cannot change his fate, and instead learns to accept it. Go listen to Tchaikovsky's 4th symphony here. See what you think. Today's hottie is Ian Thorpe. He's 6'4", 22 years old and was one allergic to chlorine.   
Thursday, August 25, 2005
To what is this world coming?
Each August, Beloit College in Wisconsin releases the "Beloit College Mindset List," which is designed to inform the faculty at the University of the mindset of entering students. The egregious list invariably gets turned into an e-mail forward and passed ad infinitum from steno pool to steno pool.
This year's list (which you can read here) is aimed at incoming college freshmen born in 1987, and contains such amazingly insipid "truths" as "Iran and Iraq have never been at war with each other" and "Lever has always been looking for 2000 parts to clean." apparently, the good people at Beloit College have discovered that you can re-write history through admission. Kudos! This kind of self-congratulatory ageist bullshit needs to be confronted. To demonstrate the absurdity of such lists, I am offering my own absurd list. Don't question me.
(Thanks to Chrisafer for pointing this out.)
Lethargical
(Adjective)
1. Pertaining to, affected with, or resembling, lethargy; morbidly drowsy; dull; heavy. Have some links.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I am an unrepentant fat man.
No, this isn't about self-loathing. It's about a fondness for food.
And the truth is, there are very few foods in the world that I do not like. However, it seems that people are always offering me one of the few things that I do not eat. I mean really... three offers for Boston Creme Pie in three days? What's happened to the world? To make life easier for everyone, I'm posting this helpful list of food items that I do not like. If it is not on this list, either I haven't tried it (doubtful), or I like it (probable). Note that this is not the list of items that I will not eat--there is no such list. Foods Matt doesn't like: Boston Creme Pie That is all. No, really--I'll eat just about anything else (or at least try anything else). Thank you for your time.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Check this out
This site has taped conversations between a Christian phone company representative and a stand-up comedian. There are three files--it's disturbing because the phone company guy actually believes what he is saying. But it's funny because the comedian doesn't let the guy off the hook. Here is an example of the dialogue:
Conservative Phone Company Guy: You gotta admit, when girls kiss, it is kind of fun. Phone Guy: Well, I don't know, I still disagree with that lifestyle. Comedian: Oh, the lifestyle's wrong, I'm just saying it looks cool. Phone Guy: (Laughs) Well, you know... Comedian: God hates, it but...God... I bet... Well, I don't know...You don't think He thinks it's sexy? Phone Guy: Well, I mean just cause it is, doesn't mean, you know, it's... Comedian: You mean it is sexy... it's like, it's sexy, but it's wrong. Phone Guy: Right Comedian: God would be like, "It's sexy, I know, but it's wrong." Phone Guy: Yup. I think you're right there. Thanks to my partner Jay for the link.
What's a four letter word for "Star Trek fan," ends in "RK?"
Sparkles writes occasionally about doing crossword puzzles, which got me thinking about my own history with crossword puzzles.
I first started doing crosswords when I was in high school because my mom did them. My mother cuts the crosswords out of the paper every day, and works a puzzle every night while watching TV. My mom does the puzzles with her left hand, even though she is right-handed, because she read somewhere that ambidextrous people live longer or have less dementia or something. After a couple of decades of doing crosswords left-handed, she is pretty ambidextrous. Mom also does her crosswords with a pen, which I think is very bold. I started out by "helping" my mom do the puzzles. She has a habit, as do most crossworders, of reading the clues aloud in a trance-like tone, hoping that hearing them will inspire an answer. "Goodman's Kingdom, five letters, ends in 'NG'" she would say to no one in particular. And then a minute later she would have the epiphany and answer her own question with authority: "Swing. He's the King of Swing." Eventually, I would start offering suggestions. "Mustang, i.e., five letters, starts with 'F'," she would say. "Ford," I'd respond. "Ford... right" she'd say as she wrote. "Can I try one?" I asked one night. "Sure," she said. Mom keeps a stash of puzzles clipped from every paper she has ever purchased in a folder next to the couch. "Here," she said, "try one from The Detroit Free Press." And so it began. I learned, first of all, that not all puzzles are created equally. Some are known to be more difficult than others. The Detroit Free Press, for example, is fairly easy and still a little challenging (sample clue: "3 letters: Have dinner"). The Detroit News is a little harder ("3 letters: Corrode"). The easiest of all crosswords, of course, is the one in the TV Guide ("3 letters: Consume food"). In fact, that puzzle is so easy it's insulting. The NY Times puzzles get harder as the week goes on, with Monday is pretty easy ("3 letters: Dine") and Saturday is mind-blisteringly difficult ("3 letters: "Bother Mr. Grape?") The Sunday NY Times is not quite as difficult as the Friday puzzle, but it is larger. The most difficult regularly-appearing puzzle is the Sunday Boston Globe ("3 letters: Brinkler Intel to the NYSE?"), in my opinion. There are rules in crossword puzzles. If the clue is plural ("Hydrox impersonators") then the answer is also plural ("Oreos"). If there is a question mark after a clue ("Fifth Beetle?") then the answer requires creative interpretation ("Ono"). If the question contains an abbreviation ("Hospital VIP"), then the answer is an abbreviation ("MD"). I also learned that there are certain words that appear frequently in crosswords--probably because they contain a useful combination of letters. These words are sort of a shared language among crossworders, although they may not be familiar to the rest of the world. "Asta" was a dog who started in movies in the 1930's ("Mr. Smith's Dog"). An "Erne" is a seabird that preys on fish ("Sea Eagle"). "Ela" ("Guido's note" or "Note in Guido's Scale") is the highest note in the first-recorded musical scale of Friar Guido d'Arezzo. Good puzzles will often require research materials. When I was in college I always did the Friday NY Times--and often it would take an entire week. I would spend an hour researching a single clue. I tell people that I would go to the library just to find the name of a University located in Ekaterinburg, Russia (answer: USU) and they would look at me like I were crazy. But crosswords are not like word searches or jumbles or any other kind of puzzle. A crossword requires solving, not just observing or trial and error. Crossworders often have rituals around solving the puzzles. My mother, as I mentioned, does her puzzles clipped from the newspaper, in pen, with her left hand, while watching TV. I do puzzles from crossword books (usually the NY Times collections) with a mechanical pencil while watching TV. I have to have a mechanical pencil--using the old-fashioned kind just doesn't cut it for me. And I hate doing puzzles from a newspaper--I like knowing the the answer key is at the back of the book so I can check as soon as I'm done. Every time I finish a puzzle, I draw a little smiley face on it. When I can't finish a puzzle, I draw a little frowny face on it. This is how I keep track of my progress--it's like a pass-fail system. Crosswords aren't for everyone; the worthwhile ones require time and effort to solve. However, it is very satisfying for anal retentive dorks like me to look at a completed puzzle with the satisfaction of completing something demanding.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Monday always comes so fast
What did I do this weekend? I played Dance Dance Revolution and shopped, mostly.
Jay and I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over the weekend. I enjoyed it. I have never seen the older version, nor have I read the book, so I had nothing to which I could compare it. I thought it was a fun story. I liked Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka; he did a great job with that whole creepy man-child vibe. I want to live in a chocolate factory and be mean to children. I'm already practicing my affectations.  Who am I kidding? If I lived in a chocolate factory, I'd look more like this: 
Friday, August 19, 2005
Friday is for culture and a hot guy [+/-] Culture is under the cut...Are you sick of philosophy yet? I'm calling this little rant "Subjective versus objective: The value in believing things that are (probably) not true." A past post of mine in which I discuss the story of the Unseen Ships received the following comment from Travis: Which is more likely? 1. The Indians did not see the ships because they lacked a word for ship? 2. This story was invented to make the Indians seem weird? Linguistic Determinism/Relativism is something I talk about here (although I talk about the Eskimo Snow Vocabulary): http://www.hindsight-2020.com/documents/linguisticdeterminism.php. I was very careful in my discussion because I did not want to imply that I actually believed that the native people did not see the ships--I take no position whatsoever on the issue. I do want to stress, however, that we don't actually see with our eyes, we see with our brains. And it is possible for the brain to edit stimulus received from the eyes to eliminate specific details--give me twenty minutes and a willing subject and I can make someone see things(1). I want to go back and state the original intent of my post on the story of the Unseen Ships. I believe that the story is more useful as a measure of a person's willingness to accept new ideas than as historical artifact. For example, this picture  is not valuable because it is a representation of any particular thing. The picture is valuable because of what it causes you to see. Do you see a bat or a butterfly? Do you see a moth? Or, perhaps, you see a face or a mask. Maybe it looks like a fox? It is the perceptions of the viewer that matter, not the absolute content of the picture. The value of stories which cannot be proven or disproved(2), but which may be fictitious (like the unseen ships, or The Bible, for that matter), is not their veracity but their utility. The Unseen Ships is still useful as a cognitive tool--as a way of thinking about the world--regardless of whether it actually happened or not. In other words, myths (like the Unseen Ships) are useful because of the way they make us think (they inform our subjectivity) and not because they describe the world (they are not objective). That's where the title of this little rant came from, if you were curious. In other words, I'm not interested in writing a history book, I'm interested in thinking about consciousness and perceptions. The veracity of the story would be a primary concern for a historian. I am not a historian; I am a psychotherapist. The workings of the mind are considerably more important to me. Speaking of utility, a case might be made that the Story of the Unseen Ships has a deleterious effect on our concept of Native Americans(3). I'm enough of a liberal(4) to entertain such an argument. I recognize that I've rambled quite a big in this post, so let me conclude with a very clear summary. First, people do not see with their eyes; we see with our brains. Photons usually cause "sight," but they do not correspond with "sight" as authentically as neurons do. Second, saying that something is untrue because it is unbelievable does not constitute a refutation. Third, occasionally it is useful to suspend disbelief in myths for various reasons, and whether or not a myths is true has no effect on the value of that particular myth. Fourth (and I want this very clear), I am not claiming that the story of the Unseen Ships is true--in fact, I believe it sounds implausible. However, the story cannot be dismissed as complete fiction merely because it is hard to believe. -- 1) Let me be clear: I'm not suggesting mass hypnosis is the explanation of the unseen ships. I don't even know if I believe the story, so I'm certainly not going to offer an explanation as to how it might have happened. I'm just pointing out that photons do not always correspond with "sight." Also, for the record, I am not a quack: it is standard practice in hypnotherapy to cause a client to see something that is not present (or, conversely, to refuse to see something that is present) in order to test the depth of hypnosis that the client is undergoing. And although I prefer to use other tests for depth, I have caused clients to see (or not see) things many times. 2) You cannot prove that the story is false. Simply saying that one don't understand how something could be true doesn't constitute a refutation; it merely constitutes an admission of the limitations of one's understanding. And, taken in the context of this argument, claiming that the understandable cannot be true actually strengthens the thrust of my original point: anything we cannot understand we cannot accept. But of course, I've leapt from talking about ships on the horizon to talking about concepts and conceptual frameworks. Rather an offer any justification for this (and risk having to give footnotes to my footnotes), I'm going to let myself slide on this point. It's good to be the blog tyrant. 3) I was recently informed that Native Americans prefer to be called "Indians." I am sorry, but I cannot wrap my brain around that (see footnote 2), so I will continue to use the term Native American. 4) Note the lowercase "l", because I'm speaking about classical liberalism (as in "liberal arts") and not about political affiliation. Although, in this instance it would be easy to confuse the two, particularly with the traditionally left-wing associations of political correctness. See footnote 3. Y'all know I have a thing for professional wrestlers. Today's hottie is Shelton Benjamin.   
Thursday, August 18, 2005
This blog grows ever more elitist.
I like to read the customer reviews on Amazon.com, particularly the lowest-rated reviews for classic works of literature. Let me be clear: the reviews in which people simply say they didn't like a book don't interest me. People have a right to dislike whatever they want (I, for example, hate almost everything by Charles Dickens with a passion).
I prefer the reviews in which people offer criticism of the classics--and do it poorly. I was reading some last night and laughing to myself. For your enjoyment, I present some of my favorite bad reviews of great works. Romeo and Juliet Why can't this story end in happily ever after? Why does Lady Capulet have to be so stuck up on everybody? Why couldn't Shakespeare have written in a language we could all understand? The Scarlet Letter This book is like a bad soap. No action. No drama. Very predictable. It is about a woman who cheated on her husband with another man. The baby dad is the preacher. Why the couple couldn't have gotten a divorce is beyond me. And the writing is horrible. Maybe Webster would have fun with this book but not a high schooler being forced to read it. Reading this is like a punch in the testicles.. it HURT!!! Moby Dick It was fun (and very dorky) to see the link of Star Trek 2 - The Wrath of Kahn to this book, but that was about it. Now when I'm chillin with my girl, forcing her to watch that old movie, I can sound smart and point out where some of those lines come from...Moby Dick. Other than that, I'm done with it. Good luck with this one. To Kill a Mockingbird All the book consists of is a middle-class family in the south with a few weird neighbors. I mean come on. Who really cares about a little girl that goes around the neighborhood doing things like spying on her albino neighbor. If that makes a book a classic, shame on you.
Meme [+/-] Impossibily Long Movie Meme...I found this meme floating around the internets. I see a lot of movies--the ones I have seen are in bold. 2 Fast, 2 Furious 8 Mile 10 Things I Hate About You 28 Days Later 40 Days and 40 Nights 101 Dalmatians 2001: A Space Odyssey About a Boy Ace Ventura - Pet Detective Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls Adaptation Adventures in Babysitting The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert Aladdin Alien Alien 3 Aliens All I Want Almost Famous Along Came A Spider Amelie American Pie American Beauty American History X American Pie 2 Anastasia And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself Andrei Rublev The Animatrix Anne of the Thousand Days Annie (1982 version) As Good As It Gets Austin Powers Back to the future I Back to the future II Back to the future III Bad Boys Bad Boys 2 Bambi Battle Royale Beauty and the Beast Bedazzled Being John Malkovich Bend It Like Beckham Benny and Joon Better than Chocolate The Beyond Big Chill Big Daddy Big Fish The Big Lebowski Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Billy Madison Billy Elliot The Birdcage Black Hawk Down The Black Stallion Blade Blade II Blood Simple Blue Boondock Saints Bowling For Columbine Boys Don't Cry Bram Stoker's Dracula Braveheart Breakfast At Tiffany's Bridges of Madison County Bridget Jones's Diary Bring It On Brother Bear Bruce Almighty But I'm a Cheerleader! Camelot Captain Horatio Hornblower Carrie Carrie 2: The Rage Casablanca Casper Cast Away Catch Me if You Can Casualties of War Center Stage Charade Chasing Amy Chicago Chocolat Citizen Kane Claire of the Moon Clerks A Clockwork Orange Closet Land Clueless Cold Mountain The Contender Cookie's Fortune The Count of Monte Cristo Cowboy Bebop The Craft Crazy In Alabama Crossroads Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Cruel Intentions Daddy Day Care Dancer In The Dark Darkness Das Boot Dave Dawn of the Dead Dead Man Walking Dead Man Death Becomes Her Deep Impact The Delta Force Dick Die Hard Die Hard - Die Harder Die Hard - With a Vengeance Dil Se Dirty Dancing Doctor Zhivago Dogma Donnie Darko Don't Worry, It's Only A Phase Double Indemnity Down With Love Drop Dead Fred Dumb & Dumber Earth Girls Are Easy East of Eden Ed Wood Edward Scissorhands Elf Elizabeth Empire Records The Empire Strikes Back Enemy at the Gates Enemy of the State The English Patient Equilibrium Escape From Sobibor The Exorcist Extreme Ops Eyes Wide Shut A Face In the Crowd Face/Off The Faculty Fame Fargo Fast and the Furious Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Fellowship of the Ring Fierce Creatures The Fifth Element Fight Club Final Destination Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within Finding Nemo Forrest Gump Fog, The The Fox and the Hound Frailty Frankenstein Frequency Fried Green Tomatoes From Hell Funny Girl Galaxy Quest Gallipoli Gangster No Gaslight The Ghost And The Darkness Ghostbusters Ghostbusters 2 Ghost Ship Gia Giant Girl Girl, Interrupted Gladiator Gone With the Wind The Good Son The Goonies Gothika Great Expectations Grease Groundhog Day Hamlet (Mel Gibson version) Hamlet (Kenneth Branagh version) Happiness Happy Gilmore Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Heartbreakers Heathers Favorite line: "F**k me gently with a chainsaw!" Heavy Metal Hedwig & the Angry Inch Hellraiser Henry V Hercules Highlander Holes Home Alone The Horse Whisperer The Horseman on Roof The Hot Chick The Hours The House of Mirth House of Sand & Fog How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days The Hudsucker Proxy I Know What You Did Last Summer I Still Know What You Did Last Summer I am Sam Igby Goes Down Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Indochine Intermission Interview with the Vampire Inventing the Abbotts Italian Job Jane Eyre Jersey Girl Josie and the Pussycats Jurassic Park Just Married Kiki's Delivery Service Kill Bill Vol. 1 The Killer Koyaanisqatsi Kuch Kuch Hota Hai La Vita e Bella Labyrinth Ladyhawke Lake Placid Land Before Time Laputa - Castle in the Sky The Last of the Mohicans The Last Unicorn League of Extraordinary Gentlemen A League of Their Own Legally Blonde Legend of the Red Dragon Lethal Weapon Lethal Weapon 2 Liar Liar Life as a House Life Is Beautiful Lilo and Stitch The Lion King Lion King 2 The Little Mermaid Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Look Who's Talking Lost Boys, The Lost World Lost In Translation Love Actually Love Song M Magnolia Mallrats The Man from Snowy River The Man in the Iron Mask Man with a Movie Camera Manhunter Mary Poppins Mask Master & Commander - The Far Side of the World The Matrix The Matrix: Reloaded The Matrix: Revolutions A Matter of Life and Death Meet the Parents Men of Honor Metropolis Mighty Ducks Minority Report Miss Congeniality The Mists of Avalon Mona Lisa Smile Monster Ball Monsters, Inc. Monty Python & the Holy Grail Moonstruck Moulin Rouge Mrs. Doubtfire Much Ado About Nothing Mulan The Mummy The Mummy Returns Muppets Take Manhattan Murder by Death (Ed: This movie was terrible. I'm amazed anyone remembers it.) Murder By Numbers Muriel's Wedding My Best Friend's Wedding My Girl My Girl 2 My Dog Skip My Beautiful Laundrette My Fair Lady My Big Fat Greek Wedding Mystery, Alaska Nausicaa Never Been Kissed The New Guy Niagara Niagara Nightflier The Nightmare Before Christmas The Ninth Gate Not Another Teen Movie Notting Hill Now and Then Nurse Betty Nuts O O Brother, Where Art Thou? October Sky The Odd Couple Oliver and Company Oliver! One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest One Hour Photo Ordinary People The Others The Outsiders Parent Trap Pearl Harbor Perfect Storm Perfect Blue Peter Pan (Disney) Peter Pan (2003) The Philadelphia Story The Philadelphia Experiment Philadelphia Phone Booth Pi Pink Flamingos Pitch Black Plata Quemada Playing Mona Lisa Pocahontas Poltergeist Practical Magic Pride and Prejudice Prince of Tides The Princess Bride The Princess Diaries Princess Mononoke Prince of Egypt Pulp Fiction Pump Up The Volume Quills Rabbit Proof Fence Radio Flyer Raiders of the Lost Ark Rat Race Rear Window The Recruit Red The Remains of Day Remember the Titans Remo Williams Requiem for a Dream Reservoir Dogs Resident Evil 1 Return of the King Return to Me Riki-Oh - Story Of Ricky The Ring The Road to El Dorado Road Trip Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Robin Hood: Men in Tights The Rock Rocky Horror Picture Show Rollerball Roman Holiday Romeo & Juliet Romper Stomper The Rose Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead Royal Tenenbaums Rushmore Save the Last Dance Scary Movie Schindler's List Scooby Doo Scooby Doo 2 Scream Scream 2 Scream 3 Seabiscuit The Secret Garden Secretary Sense and Sensibility Seventh Seal Shallow Hal She's All That The Shining Shining Through Shrek Sid and Nancy Singing in the Rain Simon Birch Sixth Sense Sleeping Beauty Sleepy Hollow Small Soldiers Snatch Some Like It Hot The Sound of Music Spaceballs Spartacus Speed Spiceworld Spider-man Spirited Away Spun Star Wars Steel Magnolias Stepmom Storm of the Century Strictly Ballroom Sunset Blvd. Sunshine State Super Mario Brothers Suspiria SWAT Sweet November Sweethearts Swimfan Swimming Pool Tampopo Terms of Endearment Tigerland Titan A.E. Titanic To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Tombstone Tonari No Totoro Toy Story Triumph of the Will At school Truly Madly Deeply Tuck Everlasting Twelve Monkeys The Two Towers Two Weeks' Notice Two or Three Things I Know About Her The Unbearable Lightness of Being Unbreakable Unman, Wittering and Zigo The Unsaid Urban Legends Valentine Vanilla Sky Velvet Goldmine Vertigo Victor/Victoria Wag the Dog A Walk To Remember The War At Home We Were Soldiers The Wedding Singer Weekend at Bernie's West Side Story Whale Rider What Dreams May Come What Lies Beneath What a Girl Wants Whatever It Takes White Oleander White Wild Things Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Win a Date with Tad Hamilton Wit The Wizard of Oz A Wrinkle In Time The X-Files: Fight the Future X-Men X2 XXX Y Tu Mama Tambien Zombie Flesh Eaters Zoolander
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I can't be the only one who watches Dog the Bounty Hunter, right?
The show is part of A&E's Whitetrash Outreach Program. It's hard to admit this in public, but this show is a guilty pleasure of mine. It's just so fucked up... for example: on last night's episode, the gang was apprehending someone, and while he was putting on the handcuffs, Dog starts singing "These Boots are Made for Walking." Then Dog and his wife took an hour break to have sex, because Beth (the wife) got all hot and bothered by the handcuffs. If you are not watching this show, you are missing out.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Links
A collection of stewardess uniforms. Someone has an obsession.
Possibly the worst premise for a movie ever: PolterChrist. This game is a fun way to waste time.
Monday, August 15, 2005
A man walks into a talent agent's office...
I had a good weekend--I had Saturday off, which is unusual for me. I spent most of the day running headlong down my personal rabbit hole of the moment with The Mind and the Brain : Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force by Jeffrey Schwartz and Sharon Begley. I'm all fired up about the nature of consciousness, and this book looked like a good place to start exploring the neuroscience of consciousness. I'll let you know how it turns out (because I'm sure that you all can't wait to hear about it).
Saturday night Jay and I saw the movie The Aristocrats. The premise is simple: one hundred comedians tell the same dirty joke. And here, when I say "dirty," I don't mean "Oh, isn't that naughty." I mean "I can never admit to my mother that I have ever even heard of this movie." The movie is very funny--and the absolutely most filthy (and funniest) version of the joke is told by Bob Saget. Yes, that Bob Saget. That's no small thing, either, since Saget out-dirties George Carlin, Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried, and Cartman from South Park. Listen to NPR talk about the movie here. Read the Wikipedia article on the joke here. And finally, you can see the kids on South Park tell the actual joke here. If you get a chance, and if you're not easily offended, see the movie.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Friday: culture and hot guy [+/-] Culture is under the cut...It's more philosophy today, people. I want to thank Travis. Not only did he tip me off to the Unicorgy link that you all enjoyed earlier, his book club discussions have given me something to think about for the past couple of weeks. And, because I am egotistical enough to think that other people care what I think, I am going to record a couple of thoughts. On Definitions: Here's a question: At some point in the future will a water molecule no longer consist of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom? No, but that's because the definition of a water molecule is two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. Even if water in all forms ceases to exist--that is, there are no longer any combinations of two hydrogens and one oxygen, water will still be defined as two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen. This is speaking more about language than about the nature of reality. A more metaphysically-oreintated question would be: Will an other atomic formula ever evolve which will have exactly all the properties of water, but which will not be two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atoms? and if so, would it be proper to call that compound "water?" I would argue that compound would not be properly labeled water, but I believe that is a linguistic distinction. Perceptions and the story of the Unseen Ships: There is this story that when Columbus came to the New World, supposedly the native peoples were unable to see his ships because they had never seen a tall ship before. The ships sat in the water and the native people simply did not perceive them. The people lacked a concept of the kind of ship that Columbus had, so they could not make any sense of the visual stimilus. However, the second part of that story often goes untold: the native people were unable to see the ship until the religious leader noticed that there was something making waves in the water. The waves led him to see the ships, and once he pointed them out, then the other people could see them as well. I admit that it seems unlikely that people would be faced with a large ocean-going vessel and not be able to see it. It seems that light would still strike the people's eyes, and cause them to see something, even if they didn't know what it was. But this is not an issue of light and eyes, this is an issue of brains and conceptual frameworks. And, I suppose, that the fundimental issue is whether or not the native people had a concept for "something very large and unidentified on the water." So let me give you an example that more clearly relates to brains and conceptual frameworks. Suppose that I am a man who is sexually attracted to other men, but the year is 1800 and I live in rural China. The odds are that I am not going to identify as an oppressed minority, nor am I likely to spend my life with a same-sex life partner. The cultural framework for that reality does not exist, and because it does not exist, I am unlike to conceive it. If I were to conceive it, there would likely be some kind of collective backlash. So not only does the framework not exist, but I am behaviorally motivated not to invent such a framework. It may seem like a leap between these two examples, but fundimentally they address the same truth: we are unlikely to perceive anything that is outside of the framework onto which we map reality. I want to stress that it's entirely possible that the story of the unseen ships is spurious. But there is possiblity, however small, that it is true. Make up your mind for yourself. I am reminded of a friend of mine who once heard the story of the unseen ships and responded: "That's impossible. We know that brains just do not work that way. With everything that I know about science, I simply can't accept that the story is true." Of course, it would have been rude of me to point out that his inability to accept the possibility of the story is evidence that people are sometimes so caught up with what they know is true and possible that anything outside of their framework is literaly inconceivable. Perhaps the value of the story of the unseen ships is not its veracity; rather, that it proposes in itself a reality that is so outside of what we can accept that it is an example all on its own of something that we simply cannot conceive. Today's hottie is Rob Sager. Yes, he's a porn star. But I don't care, because he's buff and cute. He sometimes goes by the name Brett Mycles.   
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I promised snark and snobbery.
Jason and I played hookey and went to the zoo yesterday to celebrate his good health. We saw lots of animals--but perhaps the most interesting of all were the people at the zoo. I have never seen so many T-shirts with wrestlers on them and tube tops all in one place, let me tell you. After about an hour, Jay and I began a running commentary.
And here we see the American White Trash in its native environment. The American White Trash, or simply "Trash", prefers an environment in which corn dogs are readily available. Other habitats which are likely to support White Trash are Applebee's restaurants, Aerosmith concerts and Rob Schneider movies. Notice that this species exhibits sexual dimorphism, meaning that the males and females have different appearance. Notice that the male of the species prefers a summer plumage of T-shirts with NASCAR logos and jean shorts, while the female typically sports halter tops and short shorts. Notice also that the female of the species usually has a great mane--females can spend hours grooming their manes to attract mates. You can also identify them by sound. The American White Trash vocalizes almost constantly, and has a very distinctive call. Typically, this fascinating species is recognizable by its use of the words "fag," "dookie," and "candy ass." Because the American White Trash has very large litters it has become an ecological menace on the Earth, very much like the Zebra Mussel. It tends to leave empty soda cans and cigarette butts in its path; additionally, its presence is often an offense to superior species. Scientists predict that within one hundred years the planet will be over-crowded with mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers. Experts are working on some kind of breeding control to avoid this bleak future.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Better than Christmas and my birthday
OK, so Jason got the results that we had been waiting for.
Jason does not have cancer. I could say that all day, over and over again. Jason does not have cancer. They said he had a 95% chance of cancer, but he doesn't. My partner is gay, in MENSA, and one of the 5% that does not have cancer. He really is one in a million. In celebration, I am posting a link to what is possibly the most disturbing website that I have ever seen. Here it is. It is not work safe. Once again, I want to thank everyone for all their support. (And yes, I feel a little foolish for making a big deal about what turned out to be nothing. But honestly, the medical people were making it sound like we should go pick out caskets. And besides, I'd rather be a fool and have a healthy partner than the alternative.) I love you all. Tomorrow, we will return to snark and snobbery.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Heartfelt thanks
First, I wanted to say thank you to all the people who expressed support after reading yesterday's post. Jay and I have been flooded with support from family, friends and colleagues. I have even had a couple of encouraging and touching e-mails from clients and former clients. I feel like George Bailey in the last scene of It's a Wonderful Life. I will keep everyone updated as events unfold.
Moving on(oh, the play on words!), MoveOn.org has been running a contest to create a slogan to demand the dismissal of Karl Rove. (I know this because I'm on their e-mail list.) The winning entry is this one:  You can download your copy here. Some of the non-winning entries were quite funny.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Breaking the silence
OK, I didn't write anything about this because I wanted my partner to write about it first.
For the past couple of weeks Jay and I have been living with the news that it is highly probable that Jay has cancer. They say that there is a 95% that he does have cancer, but we don't know anything for sure yet; the definitive test results are due back sometime this week. I don't exactly know what to write about this. It's funny, because I can go on for paragraphs about the mundane little bullshit that happens, but when the love of my life gets sick, I draw a complete blank. Over the past two weeks I have alternated between being terrified about the future, angry at physicians who move entirely too slowly for my taste, physically ill with sadness that my partner might be very sick, and completely numb to the entire thing. And I've had a thousand other feelings besides. Most of the time, though, I want to crawl into a hole with Jason and stay there forever. So if I seem distracted, angry, vacant, sad, or just plain crazy during the next few days or couple of weeks,
Weekend activities
It was a busy weekend in Mattland. Saturday Jay and I went with our friends Bill and Laura to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy play with the Detroit Symphony. Fun was had by all.
Sunday, Jay and I saw Sky High. It was cute--not great cinema, but an enjoyable afternoon. Perhaps the best part of the movie was the casting of Lynda Carter as the principal. And that was pretty much my weekend. Have some links:
God, what a lame post(1). -- 1) There are some people who feel that one should not post anything if one has nothing to say. I feel I should explain why I disagree with these people. I don't blog because I want hits to my counter; I blog because I want a record of what I'm thinking and doing in the moment. And sometimes, life being what it is, I don't have anything all that exciting to say. Sometimes my blog isn't entertaining, and I'm OK with that. It's foolish to think that life needs to be exciting and interesting all the time. Sometimes, life is mundane and dull.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Friday is for culture and a hot guy [+/-] Culture is under the cut...Those of you who know me (Hi, Mom!) know that I hold a BA in philosophy. For this post I dusted off the old philosophical thinkin' cap (read: I had a few drinks). Travis has been talking about consciousness. Specifically, he has been discussing Mind, Language and Society by John Searle. I haven't read that book. So I'm just going to give my general thoughts on the debate of objective versus subjective realities. Here's the issue: Let's say that I go to the museum and I see a work by Picasso. I marvel at the beauty of the painting. How do I know that I am actually observing a painting done by Picasso? It could be that I'm actually looking at a particularly good forgery. Or, more of an issue for a philosophical debate, how do I know that I'm actually in a museum at all? Perhaps, a la Matrix, I'm merely hooked up to an elaborate machine which is causing me to experience Picasso? And, the really big question: would it matter? I believe that it does matter--I think that there is some kind of authenticity in experiencing an actual painting, regardless of whether or not the quality of the forgery would cause me to have the same experience. Although my mind would be fooled, and arguably I would have the same psychological sensation from the machine as I would from the authentic painting, I believe that there is a kernel of inauthenticity in the faux Picasso. But just because I could not perceive the distinction between a forgery and an actual painting does not mean that there is no difference. There are a great many things in this world that I do no have fine enough senses to perceive; yet, I still believe that they exist. Now let me take off my philosopher hat and put on my psychotherapist hat. Philosophy (or at least metaphysics) is a descriptive science--it attempts to explain and order the world. Psychology (or, at least clinical psychology) is a prescriptive science--it attempts to solve real-world problems with solutions that are accessible to the ordinary person. So, while I believe that experience ought to line up with actuality, I also believe that it's not helpful for the psychologist to talk about possibilities and unknowables. In other words, if you want to effect the human experience, then you are limited to working within the human experience. And in this human experience, for better or for worse, we have Subjectivity. Here I mean Subjectivity with a capital S--the condition of being a Subject. When I perceive the Picasso, the painting is the Object, and I am the Subject. Necessarily, I view the Picasso with my own frame of reference--"It's pretty," "I don't like his Blue Period," "My feet hurt," and so on. There is absolutely no way to get around this while remaining the Subject. And I have absolutely no choice but to be a Subject, not just when viewing a painting, but throughout the course of my life(1). So here's my conclusion. Yes, I believe that there probably is an objective reality, even if that reality is an elaborate machine that makes us think we are experiencing things that we are not. Yes, I believe that it would be nice to get as close as we possibly can to that objective reality, because there is always a difference between the actual thing and a forgery. However, I don't think it serves any purpose to reject subjective experience as flawed, even if there is an objective reality, because Subjective experience (capital S) is all we can really know. Now, I have a cute little philosophical trick to prove my point, if you would like to see it.
This isn't a new argument; I never claimed to be creative or inventive. I would simply underscore that my work as a psychotherapist tends to lead me into directions that are more prescriptive than descriptive. When doing therapy, all I have to work with is an individual's Subjectivity--we don't have the power to change reality, all we can change is our own reactions. As for Searle, I imagine (from reading the reviews of his book) that he would say that I "an urge to power." In other words, I reject an objective reality because I don't want to be answerable to the world, but for the world to be answerable to me. What Searle calls "an urge to power" I call "taking responsibility for one's own experience." I can never know whether or not my conceptual and linguistic frameworks accurately map onto an objective reality, since I can never get outside of myself to test that theory. But I do know that I can modify my perceptions of the world by changing my own conceptual and linguistic framework. That means that I have to take responsibility for my experience, as does every other Subject out there. And trust the therapist here, folks: taking that kind of responsibility is a lot of work. Again, I'm not the first person to think this way. So, in closing, let me quote Friedrich Nietzsche, from Twilight of the Idols. How the "True World" Finally Became a Fable -- 1) I'm going to set aside the areas of mathematics and geometry for a minute here. So shoot me. 2) I recognize that this premise is problematic. For now, just let me get away with it without going into a lengthy discussion of free will. 3) This premise and the others like it are true due to the definition of Subjectivity. 4) Nietzsche was an intolorable chauvinist. But you get the idea. 5) "pale, Nordic, Konigsbergian" is a swipe at Immanuel Kant, who was a firm believer that there is a objective reality out there, and that although the objective reality is unknowable, it still informs our concept of ethics. Kant lived in Konigsberg. 6) "Here begins Zarathustra." Nietzsche's Zarathustra, by the way, has nothing to do with the historical Zarathustra. Nietzsche used the character as a kind of uber-philosopher. Today's hottie is Mark Wahlberg.   
Thursday, August 04, 2005
iLove
My iPod, my most beloved toy, died a painful death on Monday. I attempted to reset it, reboot it, restore it... all to no avail. It just sat lifeless on my desk, refusing to be cajoled into working. And the world became a cold, music-less place.
So yesterday I took my precious down to the Apple store in The Somerset Collection. I was a little surprised that the tech support guy took time out while in the middle of helping me to help a scantily-dressed woman. I guess I was taken aback by this because I expect that kind of socially-retarded behavior from computer dorks who work with PCs; I had a higher standard for those who work with Apple, though. Examining this belief, I suppose that I assumed that Apple's far superior aesthetic design bespoke techies who transcend the expected behavior of geeks. Apparently, I was wrong. In any case, I have nothing to complain about: the good folks at Apple replaced my iPod. And I went away a happy, happy man. While we were there, Jason leapt into the 21st century and purchased his own iPod mini. 
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
It might be time for me to up my dose of Klonopin.
Do you remember the movie A Knight's Tale? Well, if you saw it, you may be entitled to get your money back. Sony Pictures, in a desperate move to promote that turkey, invented a film critic. The fictional "David Manning," supposedly of The Ridgefield Press, also gave positive reviews to Vertical Limit, The Animal, Hollow Man and The Patriot.
So Sony was named in a class-action lawsuit, and it was decided that the company did engage in fraud. The company is ordered to give moviegoers their money back. To those of you who did not see A Knight's Tale, this may seem a bit extreme(1). To those of you, like me, who actually did see the movie--well, let's just say that Sony got off easy. They used to hang people for crimes against humanity. But why stop with A Knight's Tale? There are plenty of terrible movies that I feel I was tricked into seeing. CatWoman and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen spring to mind. And don't even get me started on Blade III. It's about time we held the studios responsible for polluting our collective cultural scene. Down with blockbusters! In any case, I fully intend to apply to get my money back. I'll keep you updated. -- 1) You may even ask yourself, "How could you not know that A Knight's Tale was going to suck?" Ahh... but you see, they told me to see it! I'm not responsible for my actions! The talking box in my living room said it would be good!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I'm busy today, so you get a half-assed post.
Here are some of the results from Googling "Matt is."
Monday, August 01, 2005
I'm it.
I was tagged by Travis. In return, I tag
if we are single or in a monogamous relationship? First, I have a question of my own: why does this meme start with a sentence fragment? I'm going to control myself, however, and I will refrain from snarking about the grammar of the questions, because my snobbery is probably why I don't get tagged very often (read: never before). Whatever the reason, I'm in a relationship. how long we have been with our partner/significant other/boy/girlfriend? It'll be 7 years in exactly one week. how we met? Jay and I met because we both volunteered at The Listening Ear, a crisis intervention center in East Lansing, Michigan. I thought Jay was hot, so I asked him out. Or, rather, I called him and babbled for about 45 minutes and never got around to asking him out because I was so nervous. Then, after hanging up, I called him right back and asked if he liked Chinese food. He took pity on me and agreed to go out to dinner with me. what we like to do together? We like what I always classify as "normal stuff"--dinner, movies, talking, long walks, shopping. The usual stuff. if we are single, what life with our ideal spouse/partner would look like? I'm not single, but this is pretty much what I thought the ideal life would look like. (By the way, "What would your ideal life look like?" is such a therapist-y question that I honestly believe this meme was written by a fellow shrink. The rest of the world just does not talk like that.) -- 1) The "other Travis" is actually TERRY. I apologize to Mr. Estep for that mistake; however, I have a good explanation. I first was introduced to Terry of Mysterysteps.com as Travis of Bitch-and-Moan.com. Terry had chosen to use "Travis" as his nom de plume. I still sometimes get a little confused. Apologies, Terry.
Rambling post
Where did the weekend go?
Oh, right. I indulged my taste for trash literature and read Smoke and Shadows by Tanya Huff. No, it's not a great work of art. But yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm exhausted this morning, but I'm getting used to that. For about the past six months I've had insomnia(1) on and off. On a good night I get about 7-8 hours of sleep. On a bad night (like last night) I get about 3. I keep hoping that this will go away on its own, but so far it hasn't. I'm thinking I might see a doctor. -- 1. For those who are DSM IV-TR inclined: 307.42 Primary Insomnia. |
