Matt Sweet

I have a little picture of That Man on my desk. Occasionally, I look at it, and I scowl, and I say, "Loser" under my breath.

I'm just doing my part.

Other stuff:

The Republican Platform includes taking away reproductive freedom, eliminating legal recognition for any same-sex unions, taking the vote away from women, and gassing Jewish people and political dissidents. OK, so they're not gassing Jews. And I'm sorry I wrote that, because now I've given them ideas.

Paul Krugman tells us why a free, pro-America Iraq is out of reach.

Psychologists find that you can manipulate the way people relate to food. Oh really? You don't say?

Jaws in 30 seconds, and done by bunnies.

I spent Sunday reading Practical Magic, by Alice Huffman. It was nice to sit on the couch with my cat, turn on the stereo, and just read all damn day.

Well, not all day. I baked a chocolate pudding cake, made a roast and some tuna casserole (which are for lunches and which are sitting in little tupperware containers in the fridge). For dinner Jay and I had chili dogs and the pudding cake with ice cream. Yum.

Stuff you need to know about:

The winner of the White Trash Hairstyle of the Year is...Tan's Barbers! Tan's has developed a way to incorporate your rat tail into the design shaved onto the back of your head, as evidenced in the photo to the right. Thank you, Tan's, for your hard work and innovation!!

The RNC beings in New York. Of note in this article is the quote from That Man. He was asked, "Can you win the war on terror?" And he responded: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that the -- those who use terror as a tool are -- less acceptable in parts of the world." And you do that by bombing them? Good plan! I keep myself free of bee stings by throwing rocks at hives!

500,000 protesters show up to tell Bush to fuck off. I wanted to be there, but damn the man! I couldn't get away from work.

Today has been one of those days where the little shit that can go wrong, has gone wrong. I overslept, spilled orange juice, and cut myself shaving. So now, whenever I have to take any little risk (say, opening a desk drawer), I say, "Satan, get behind me!" I don't know if that will help with the bad luck, but it makes my office mates sufficiently nervous. He he.

On to the Friday Five.

1. Have you been watching the 2004 Summer Olympics?
It'd be more accurate to say that I'm following the Olympics, since I get much of my Olympic news from NPR and The NYT.

2. What are your favorite sports (Olympic or otherwise)?
I love football, which is not an Olympic sport, dammit. And hockey, which is not a summer sport. As for the Olympics, I'm watching swimming, sprinting, wrestling, men's gymnastics and diving. I'm such a fag.

3. Do you follow a specific team or athlete?
In the Olympics, I tend to root for the Americans, but not exclusively so. In football, I root for Michigan State, my alma mater.

4. Is there any sport that you think should be removed/added from the Olympics?
They should add Pissing and Moaning. Listening to the whining of the athletes who win bronze medals makes me thinking that it'd be a natural addition. I can't think of any sports that should be removed, however, I want the IOC to fight to the ends of the Earth to keep people from adding chess or poker. Those are games, people, not sports.

5. Paul Hamm, Morgan Hamm or Mia Hamm?
Paul Hamm and Morgan Hamm. I could make a Hamm sandwich.

Not to be missed:

This Ain't No Heartland is a new documentary about "The war in Iraq, viewed through the blurred lens of rural America." I'm slightly angry at New Yorkers laughing at us stupid Mid-Westerners. And I'm wondering if any of my relatives are in this film.

I get regular harassing e-mails from Classmates.com, which, if you don't already know, is a webpage based on the fallacious assusmption that people in their 20s and 30s actually want to remember and reconnect with their highschool classmates. I succumbed to the unrelenting pressure of Internet spam a few years ago and actually signed up for an account. Today, I went to check who had listed themselves, just for shits and giggles. I discovered two things:

One, Tom Amey has posted a profile. This is a suprise, because Tom Amey was the kid in my school who wore black eye makeup, upside-down crosses, mohawks, and dog collars. I didn't think of him as a joiner.

Two, Scott Didaleusky, with whom I was madly in lust, has posted a profile and uploaded a photo. Of course, because I am not a paying member of Classmates, I can't see it. And now I'm tempted to join.

This week has sucked so far, at least as far as work is concerned. I've been very, very busy this week. I can't go into details, because professional ethics prevent me from revealing information about my interactions with my clients. (Not just professional ethics by the way, but federal law as well.) So I'll just say that this week has been extra busy and has sucked. (No, I'm not being sued, and no, nobody died--it's far less serious than that.)

As for the picture on the left--I want two of those bookshelves, in white, to go in the dining room.

News:

File this under "Duh."

Wealthy suburban teenagers are being bullied over the Internet. Get a clue, folks.

The ugliest jewelry anywhere. Seriously.

I took the quiz that everyone is talking about. Here is the result:

You are a XSYT--Expressive Sentimental Physical Taker. This makes you a Firebrand.

You are volatile, sexy and sexually driven. You're magnetic and fascinating, but you don't really enjoy playing the field -- it makes you nervous and preys on your insecurites. But when you fall for someone you fall hard.

You tend to over-analyze things, so the slightest comment or action from your significant other can send you into a tailspin. You crave attention and validation from your loved ones, so if your friends don't like your partner or your partner doesn't like your friends it makes you suffer. Unfortunately the two are often in conflict -- you have excellent insight with your friends, but in a relationship you are blind. Trust your friends!

You blow hot and cold, with big highs and big lows. This makes the bad times very bad but the good times very good, so you tend to stay in a problem relationship much longer than you should. But when a relationship fails, you hold a grudge. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but make sure your grudge doesn't cloud your vision the other way!

What would help you most in your relationships is confidence. You need someone who can help you feel good about yourself and not worse.

You can be needy and jealous. Fortunately you are cute as hell.

It's not that far off, sadly.

Stuff to see and do:

This is some weird shit.

Love Boat veterans attack Kerry's record of service.

Can you prove that Bob Saget isn't God? I didn't think so.

My long weekend is over, and I'm back at work. The time off was nice--I refinished our coffee table; Jay and I hung our new chandelier; we went to my cousin's birthday party; hung out with friends. And I still found time to enjoy some booze. Good show.

But enough about me.

I have long thought that political affiliation can be plotted (and predicted) on a graph where one axis is emotional development and the other axis is rational development. Such an axis would generate the following formula:

Low Rationality + Low Emotional Development = Conservative (GOP)
Low Rationality + High Emotional Development = Socialist
High Rationality + Low Emotional Development = Libertarian
High Rationality + High Emotional Development = Liberal (Democrat)

"One of the most celebrated insights of the past 20 years of neuroscience is the discovery -- largely associated with the work of Antonio Damasio -- that the brain's emotional systems are critical to logical decision-making. People who suffer from damaged or impaired emotional systems can score well on logic tests but often display markedly irrational behavior in everyday life."

Of course, my theory is still in the development stage, and the study I reference doesn't differentiate between species of liberals and conservatives (such as Libertarian vs. Republican; Socialist vs. Democrat). But wouldn't it be nice if "Conservative Party Affiliation" were a diagnosis in the DSM? That would rock.

Discuss:

Munch's painting was stolen from a museum. Read about it here

Paul Krugman's piece The Rambo Coalition is worth a read. He doesn't really say anything new, but he repeats the old criticisms of That Man's administration in a new way.

My computer screen
Shines even more bright today--
I'm off tomorrow

Long weekend to find
Enlightenment with Cuervo--
I love you, Jose.

Hide from the Dream Cruise
Maybe take a walk or two;
Or sit on my ass.

Today is a slow news day:

Spirituality in the workplace. Hey... why not?

1. Tasteless television. The really, really bad reality shows (like Mad Mad House) and courtroom shows like Judge Judy. I also love really, really stupid shows like Saved by the Bell, and (dare I even admit this...) Blossom.

2. The smell of soap. I know, this is kind of weird, but I thoroughly love the smell of soap. I like being in the soap aisle at the store, I like to buy soap, I like to do the laundry because I love the smell.

3. Eating things that make other people feel uncomfortable. I've eaten frog legs, calf's brains, duck liver--whatever makes someone else in my party go "Ewww!" I would love to be on Fear Factor, because I love to order the most bizarre dish in a restaurant and then gush over how good it is, all the while I'm secretly savoring the looks of revulsion on the faces of my fellow diners. Are you sure you won't try a piece of tripe?

There. I feel better now.

Other stuff:

A NYTimes opinion piece about the FBI intimidating potential protesters of the RNC. Grrr...

A tribute to Julia Child. We miss you, Mme Child.

That Man's education policy is leaving plenty of children behind. Read about it here.

Not a lot happening in my life, so I'll get out of the way.

Stuff to see and do:

A New York Times article about the housing arrangements for the people who plan on protesting the Republican National Convention caught my eye. Jay and I debated going to protest, but neither of us can really get away from work. Damn the man!

Charter schools do a less effective job of educating children, according to one report.

This book is on my must-read list. Seriously, this kind of shit is why I love the French.

The Christian Hanky Code. Finally--a way for creationists to recognize each other! Which color do I wear to say that I like my head up my ass?

Friday night Jay and I hung with Josh and Carrie, and we watched the Olympics opening ceremony. It was pretty cool.

Saturday Jay and I hung with Bill and Laura in the evening, and played cards. After they left, I couldn't sleep, so I watched more Olympics. I discovered that synchronized diving is pretty hot.

Yesterday, Jay and I saw Alien V. Predator with my parents. The movie wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been (which I suppose is a kind of compliment). The effects were good, and there were some genuine anxiety-provoking moments. The movie is being criticized as "not very scary"--and to that I respond thusly: "Pansies like me need to see monster movies, too. I'm glad they make a few that are pretty far-fetched so that I can see them and not lose sleep at night." News:

The US Olympic basketball team loses in their first game. In fact, they lost to Puerto Rico--meaning that the players on the team to which they lost are all eligible to play in the NBA. Hmmmm... will we be seeing some of these guys here in the States soon?

Phelps gets a shameful bronze medal. So your only the third fastest relay team in the world--Quit your bitching!

The FBI intimidates people planing to protest the RNC. And Johnny Ashcroft laughs.

Tesselating animations. Check these out.