Matt Sweet

The Department of Health and Human Services funds organizations, such as Planned Parenthood, on the premise that these agencies provide access to health-related services. These days, with That Man in office, abstinence-based programs are all the rage (read: the only programs that get any funding.) The following is text from the Goverment-funded brochure entitled, "What you should know about abstinence." I am not making this up.

What is it? Abstinence is a decision to not have sex.

How does it work? Abstinence works because sex does not occur.

How is it used? And individual person makes a decision not to have sex and sticks to it.

How well does it work? Abstinence is 100% effective.

Does it reduce the risk of HIV/AIDS and STDs? Abistenence from vaginal, oral, and anal sex eliminates the risk for sexually transmitting or contracting HIV/AIDs and STDs.

What are its main advantages? Abstinence has no health risks or side effects. It can be used at any time, regardless of prior sexual experience. It allows users to focus on nonsexual aspects of relationships. And it supports the values of some individuals, families, and religious groups.

What are some possible problems? Abstinence may be hard to stick with.

My friends, family, coworkers, and readers of this blog know that I am obcessed enjoy WDET, Detroit's National Public Radio. I listen to NPR during my morning and evening commutes, and sometimes on the weekends when TV sucks.

But, when I'm in the mood for music, or when I just get tired of the news, I usually listen to 89x, which is a radio station broadcast from Windsor and popular in Detroit. Today, while I was driving in, 89x announced that they are celebrating their 13th birthday. I remember when 89x first came on the air. So, suddenly it hit me that I've been listening to the same radio station for 13 years. I remembered listening to 89x when I was working my first job--washing dishes at Boston Market (which was called Boston Chicken back then). And then I had a little mental montage of all kinds of special events (first date, first make out session, first date and makeout session with a boy) which were accompagnied by Oasis, STP, and the Chili Peppers.

So all this makes me think that alternative music is the oldies of my generation. Some day I will be in my 50s, and the radio will bust out with Pearl Jam, and I will think "Ahh... That takes me back to the time I went to the Free Mumia rally in Philadelphia." I can hardly wait until Greenday releases its 30th anniversay edition.

News:

Elton John weighs in on American Idol. And all across America, nobody cares.

Russia plans on building a monument to processed cheese. Those Russians know how to party.

French people in prison write a cookbook. I want a copy. Seriously.

Fairlane mall cracks down on punk-ass kids. Hot Topic and Topkapi register official complaints.

I didn't write anything yesterday... too busy. So, here's the recap of the activities over the weekend:

Saturday: Saw some clients (had one particularly good session--I love my job), went to dinner with Laura and Bill, played cards, went to bed early.

Sunday: Went to my grandmother's memorial. My last surviving grandparent, my paternal grandmother, died on Friday morning. Her funeral was scheduled for Monday at 11:00 am, which I was unable to make, because Jay and I had to close on the house that morning. (And my grandmother lived about 200 miles north of where Jay and I live, so it was an either-or kind of a deal.) So instead of the funeral, we went to the memorial in the funeral parlor. Now, this was the first time that my father's family had ever met Jason. My dad's family are very rural, very conservative sort of people. They have known that I am gay and that I have a partner named Jason, but they did not meet him until Sunday. All in all everything went well--there was a lot of very superficial politeness, some mild snubbing, but I'm OK with that. Honestly, I'm way past caring what my father's people think about me. I'm more just hoping that they don't make my dad unconfortable with their homophobic crap, because I care about my dad.

Monday: Jay and I closed on the house. We're homeowners now! [Insert trumpet fanfare here.] Then we bought some stuff for the house (such as new locks and paper towels), had lunch, and celebrated. The man from whom we bought the house was very polite, and even friendly. You could have knocked me down with a feather, because up until this point he was a first-rate... I'll just say that he was less than polite. Jay and I plan on moving into the house in a couple of weeks. First, we are going to do some minor stuff (like painting) and decorate. The prospect of having a whole house to decorate boggles my mind. Maybe we should hire a decorator? I'm sure I'll keep you updated.

The news:

I'm proud to live in Michigan, where physicians and nurses can deny medical care to GLBT people if they want. I wonder how this fits into Gov. Granholm's "cool cities" initiative??

There's going to be a Jerry Springer musical. Because if there's one thing that inbred, web-footed, slack-jawed hill-dwellers love, it's musical theater!

Here is a Boondocks cartoon that made me smile.

Good news! Jay and I received the "green light to close" from our mortgage broker yesterday evening! Yay! We're going to be homeowners as of Monday afternoon. I can't tell you how cool that is. And yet, terribly frightening at the same time.

I wonder if I'm an adult yet? Its kind of funny that I wonder that... and I wonder if straight people ask themselves these questions. It's not that I doubt whether or not I'm a legal adult, or even a physical adult. I just wonder if I'm really mature enough to take on all the responsibility of a career, a home... and if so, then what is the next step? Where will I go from here?

The usual social markers of maturity are marriage and family. Jay and I are a family, but we're not married. And I don't just mean in a legal way, I mean that we've never had a ceremony, we don't have any partnership papers, nothing. As for family, Jay and I are a family, but we're not related by anything other than mutual positive regard. Soon, we will own a home together, but that seems hollow--a 30 year fixed-rate mortgage does not a family make.

Jay and I talk about adopting children some day, and I am certain that we will. (I'm a social worker... please. You think I could find a queer-positive adoption agency and adoption worker? I refer same-sex couples to them all the time.) Will that make us a family? More importantly, will that make me feel like I'm as adult as I can be? Like I've come as far as I could?

I can't believe that it will be. There are millions of messed-up parents, and if becoming parents didn't cure them of their problems, why think it will cure me of mine. So what is there? How do you know when you've "made it," so to speak? When am I officially a grown-up? Or am I just seeking validation from outside sources that I should be finding in myself?

Oy. I think I injured my brain-bone.

Other stuff in the world:

Here is an article in the New York Times about Jamiel Terry, the son of Randall Terry, who is the anti-gay Christian founder of Operation Rescue. Jamiel Terry recently came out of the closet. (That's his picture above, by the way.) His father has this to say about his son: "Tragically, by the time we got him as a foster child, he had already learned a lifestyle of deceit." Bravo! I nominate this man for Father of the Year!

The state of Virginia reminds us that it is filled with ignorant rednecks. OK, maybe that's a little harsh. Then again, maybe not.

And this page isn't news. But I really think you should look at it. This guy kind of gives me the creeps. Seriously. I think I need a shower now.

First, I got a speeding ticket today. Damn!!! That's the second one I've gotten in about three months. This is going to make my insurance unmanageable. I have to start paying more attention to the damn signs. OK, so that's the bad news.

The neither-good-nor-bad news: I got a call today from a colleague, who is hosting a table at a fundraising dinner for a shelter for abused children. "It will be filled with Lawyers and Judges," he says to me. Meaning, this would be a great place to get future client referrals. Additionally, I would have taken Jason so he could hobnob with others of his ilk. But, the dinner is tomorrow night. For me, that's not enough notice. And so instead of giving the money to the shelter for abused children, I will give it to the State of Michigan in the form of a speeding fine. Wait, I guess I'm still bitter about that after all.

The good news is that I ordered a Dell Axium x5 for my birthday present to me. Well, actually it's my business' birthday present to me, since the business is actually buying it. But since I own the business, it feels like I'm buying it for myself. Yay! Toys! I got all the cool extra options, too, like the folding keyboard and a memory card... Yay! And I think that I will actually be more efficient now, as well: Since I do a lot of traveling, I will always have a mini-office with me. And I can take notes electonically, which is faster and more complete than hand-written notes. Yay!

I just finished Philip Pullman's trilogy His Dark Materials. I read all the time, and most of the stuff I read only gets a small mention in my blog (if that), but these three books are amazing. They are beautifully written, imaganitive, rich in symbolism and meaning... I recommend them highly.

Goings on:

This is the coolest job ever. Hands down, no argument. Where do I sign up?

This opinion piece about Earth Day and big corporations raises some good questions.

David Remnick writes about the war in Iraq in The New Yorker. My favorite line is the last one: "It falls to Kerry to disprove the conservative zealots’ favorite canard: that subtlety of vision is inconsistent with strength and cogency of action."

Last night Jay and I had this conversation:

Jay: I saw the most unusual thing today. There was a homeless man going through the trash cans outside of the law school building, scavenging for food or bottles or whatnot, and singing "America the Beautiful" at the top of his lungs.
Matt: That is odd.
Jay: Yeah. The juxtaposition of the law school building, which is so well-maintained and which represents law and power, and the disenfranchised person singing a hymn to the beauty and bounty of our country... I kept thinking, "Is this a John Kerry ad?"
Matt: It would make a convincing sound byte.
Jay: I know. I think I should e-mail that to Moveon.org.

The big picture:

I highly disagree with labeling compulsive behaviors--like eating chocolate cake, for example--as addictions. An addiction is a behavioral compulsion coupled with a pattern of increased use and decreased effects, chemical dependence, and withdrawal symptoms. Behaviors--like eating chocolate cake, or sex--are not addictions because they lack chemical dependence. They are compulsions. This Yahoo! News story disagrees with me.

Blender Magazine ranked the 50 worst songs of all time. That claim may seem a bit definitive, but it's about time our society did something about Billy Ray Cyrus.

Here is an audio file from NPR, about the arguments made to the Supreme Court regarding the detention of "enemy combatants" in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Antonin Scalia does not disappoint--he's as wrong as ever. I think that's about the 12th time I've mentioned Scalia in this blog. Maybe I should move the site to www.scalia_watch.org.

I've got a full load of clients today, and more this evening. Sigh.

On the plus side, I'm in talks with an agency that wants to hire me as a independent contractor to facilitate a weekly support group for gay men. Yay, more money. Boo, more work. Plus, this agency is about an hour away, so I really have to think about the miles I'd be putting on my car. I'll keep you posted. It is nice, however, that people are begining to seek me out to do stuff like this. I feel validated.

And the hot boy to the right is just to keep me entertained. God bless international male.

News:

This story is kind of disturbing, especially the pictures.

In the ever-continuing struggle to figure out what the hell Republicans are thinking, I give you this.

Responding to criticism from some that they are unfairly represented in my blog (I'm looking at you, Jason), I have added a comment feature. Feel free to flame me now. But remember, I'm still the blog tyrant.

Today I got a fax from a law firm representing one of my clients. (No, I'm not going to provide any identifying information on that client in this blog... I like my license.) The fax was addressed to Matt Sweet, M.D. The fax also demands that I send this particular lawyer the client's entire record, so it may be used in a disability claim.

I get absurd requests all the damn time, but this one struck a particular nerve. First, I am not Matt Sweet, MD (although I like the sound of that); I am Matt Sweet, MSW. The lawyer didn't even get my fucking title right. Second, I will not now, nor will I ever, fax an entire record without a court order. For those not familiar with psychotherapist privlege, let me just say that I am completely in my rights to refuse the lawyer's demands. I must provide only certain items, such as a treatment summary and history--which brings me to my next point: I already sent this particular lawyer a treatment summary and history, which is all he is going to get from me. So now I have to call this bloodsucker (no offense, Jason) and tell him where he can get off--which I think I am going to enjoy. One of the coolest things about my job is that I get to tell disability lawyers to go fuck themselves on a fairly regular basis.

Enough of that. On the whole, I had a great weekend with Jason. Very cool... very laid-back... very relaxing. On Saturday night, however, Jay and I went to see The Punisher. It stank. The New York Times has a review of the movie here. Is it sad that I enjoy reading reviews of terrible movies? Some of the better lines in the review are: "[The movie is] remorselessly ugly and punishingly inhumane," and "The Punisher, loaded with grim, sadistic violence and more than two hours long, certainly lives up to its 041604." Personally, after seeing the movie, I wished I could go back and un-see it. I felt dirty.

News that caught my eye:

Sexual addiction takes on a new twist, with something called "Toothing."

I feel a little guilty about finding this slightly amusing. I know... I'm a morbid ghoul.

Jay has introduced me to the Mad Mad House message board. I highly recommend that everyone check this out. Some of these people are, well... judge for yourself. But where else can you read posts by people with screen 041604s like "Grand_High_Elf_Mage_437" and "MaStErVaMpIrE?" Posts that say things like, "If Fiona is a witch, then I'm an elf, and EVERYONE KNOWS I'M A DWARF.(*snap*)" Or, "Vampires need our understanding. They are part of the natural world, just like everything else. Pray for peace between vampires and 'normals'." I'm telling you, this shit is good.

Enough of that.

News:

I think this kind of action is cool. I just read about something like this on HRC's website. I have to say that being taxed for privledges I can't access does seem a little unfair.

Police officers have a contest to see who can eat the most doughnuts. A man from Wisconsin wins. I'm telling you... the Midwest has it sewn up when it comes to extreme eating sports. Go us!

I was reading His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. This trilogy was reviewed positively in The New Yorker, The New York Times. and on NPR all in the same week. It was a sign, I tell you.

I was also reading Siegfried, by Harry Mulisch. Again, this was an NPR recommends.

And, to keep my clinical skills fresh, I was working my way through Lesbian and Gay Families Speak Out.

Music:

I was listening to:

Oasis (What’s the Story) Morning Glory. I still like this CD.

Joshua Bell, playing Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy. It’s sublime, and he’s hot.

The Dave Brubeck Quartet, Time Out. Take five is the coolest piece ever written, period.

Links I visited often:

Amazon

Ask Oxford

Le Monde

NPR

The New York Times

WDET

Yahoo! News