Tales of a Shrink

This was a busy weekend for me, filled with movies (X-men III(1) ), picnics, family gatherings, shopping, and strip clubs.

It's that last happening that I want to talk about today. You see, Sunday was Jason's birthday, and as a celebration we went to Club Gold Coast, the Motor City's preeminent gay strip club (2 & 3) .

Our expectations were a little high: Neither of us have ever been to Gold Coast before. The few times that we have paid money to watch men take their clothing off, we have done it in Ontario. And, unlike in puritanical Michigan, the laws in Canada allow the dancers to get completely naked. So going to clubs in Michigan always seems like something of a waste--why not just cross the border and get more for your money?

In any case, it turns out that the essence of a strip tease can be as effectively conveyed while wearing a thong as it can while wearing nothing at all. Who knew?

While watching the dancers I made an important observation: The quality of the dancing really does matter. Some of the most appealing dancers were also some of the least attractive (and be aware that the term "least attractive," when applied to strippers, still means that they were very, very pretty). Additionally, some of the costumes were more appealing than others. For example, the hottest number of the night was the scrawny little man who, when he was finished, was wearing nothing but low-cut briefs and a over-sized Crucifix.

And so, while watching the dancers, I began to wonder if there is a need for a strip-tease consultant. After all, better dancers make more money, and obviously some of the guys didn't know what constitutes appealing dancing. So, perhaps for a small fee, a dancer could receive input and suggestions on his routine.

What do you think?

--
1) The movie was good, mostly because visual effects were cool. However, one can't help but wonder why a movie with Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart, and Kelsey Grammer has to rely on special effects to be entertaining. Perhaps Hollywood should start paying people as much to write scripts as they pay to make things blow up.

2) I'm aware that "Motor City's Best Gay Strip Club" is a distinction akin to "Least Nauseating Smell."

3) If my writing about watching exotic dancers offends you, I suggest you not read it. Yes, I'm a therapist. However, I'm also a gay man. If you don't like your mental health professionals to be real people, there are many therapists out there who think that they are more Superman than Man; go and see one of them.