Take a look at Dick Cheney's career as a nude model, as reported by the Weekly World News. (Yes, these are the same people who gave us "Bat-Boy" and "The World's Fattest Baby." Ahh, Americana.) The best quote from the article, and possibly the funniest thing I have read all week:"'I can see why he served previously as White House Chief of Staff,' blushes Claudia Syndelle, 24, while viewing the show. 'His staff is quite impressive'."

Also at our friends from WWN, The Top 10 Pick-up Lines for Republican Women. "Because of President Bush's leadership, we are strong; because of his vision, we will be even stronger; and because I can't stop thinking about your ass, I haven't been able to stand up for the last half hour."

For all you reformed cannibals out there, let me introduce you to Hufu, the meat-substitute that tastes like human flesh. Check out the "recipes" section for authentic Mayan and Fijian dishes. (Step aside, Soylent Green!)

Some people like to balance stuff on their cats. Whatever.