Want to talk a good fight about Classical music? Want to impress others with your discerning tastes about popular orchestral works? Of course you do!

So I give you this list of three pieces of often exaulted music that you are allowed to hate (and why), and three pieces of often berated music that you will want to defend (and why).

You can hate these:

Bolero, by Maurice Ravel
There is a legend among classical musicians that Bolero was written as an exercise in orchestration, and that it was never meant to be performed. This is not true, but if you listen to Bolero, you might begin to see why the legend persists. This piece is one big theme, repeated and repeated and repeated again. The only variations on the theme are the instruments that play it. It is the symphonic equilivent of watching people stand in line at a bank.

What the problem is: Simply put, it's boring.
What you say to look educated: It was originally intended to be a ballet, and the composer's intent was that the audience focus on the dancers, not on the music.

Scheherazade, by Rimsky-Korsakov
Oy. There was once a sultan who vowed to execute each of his wives after spending one night with her. Scheherazade, the title character, decided that she would tell the sultan a story that would last for 1,001 nights, so that he wouldn't execute her. (Sound familiar?) The tone poem by Rimsky-Korsakov captures the overwrought drama and soporific effect that these stories must have had.

What the problem is: Too much drama, not enough resolution. Plus, it will probably make you seasick.
What you say to look educated: Rimsky-Korsakov himself was never satisfied with the work.

Canon in D, by Pachebel
Did you know that when you hear those first four notes at a wedding, ettiquete actually allows you to groan audibly? The bride, or whomever chose this over-played piece of fluff, is obviously a Philistine, and you should ask that she return your gift to you because she is unworthy of your friendship. However, this piece has developed such a cult following that there are entire webrings devoted to it.

What the problem is: What isn't the problem? First, the piece is maudlin and simplistic, even by Baroque standards. Second, it is almost never performed by the appropriate combination of instruments-- three violins and basso continuo. Third, it is so overplayed that a visitor to this planet would think that it is the only piece of music to survive the 17th century.
What to say so you sound smart: Turn that shit off or I will set this place on fire.
Bonus smart thing to say: Did you know this piece is the foundation of the Pet Shop Boy's "Go West?"

You will want to defend these:

5th Symphony, by Beethoven
Yes, it's overplayed. Yes, we have all heard the clever lyrics to the first four notes. Look past that, however, and this piece is pure musical gold. It is one of the most complex works of Beethoven, who was one of the most complex composers of his day. For example: That pattern of three-shorts-and-a-long appears in almost every passage in the symphony, but it never gets tired, because Beethoven's a genius.

What to say to look smart: The third and fourth movements perfectly represent the transition from the smaller orchestra of the classical period to the larger, more powerful and emotional music of the romantic period.

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, by Mozart
Again, there is no need to sing the clever lyrics. Instead, focus on the simplicity of the opening theme: Mozart really understood the concept of light music. By the way, the original title is "Serenade for strings in G major."

What to say to look smart: The piece originally had five movements, but the original second movement has been lost.

Carmen, by Bizet.
Some of the most recognizable music in the history of music. When it debuted, it was said to be "immoral" and "superficial." But time was on Bizet's side, and now every single aria is a hit. For this opera alone Bizet gets a place with the rest of the musical greats. If you don't like opera, see Carmen, and it will change your mind.

What to say to look smart: The musical influence of Carmen has touched everyone from Gershwin to Beyonce. Now that's powerful art.