Tales of a Shrink

Last night I had to throw my fists skyward and cry out in pain: "Why, God, Why?"

Not that I was in love with Constantine... he looked like the kind of guy who spends a bit too much time on LiveJournal trying to convince other people that he's a vampire, if you know what I mean. So whatever.

But Scott Savol survives again?? For another week?? What the fuck? It's not just that he's fat and ugly--those are sins that I can forgive, being a portly soul myself. It's that he has the personality of a coffee-soaked dishcloth. Or that HE SINGS LIKE SOMEONE FROM A HIGH SCHOOL SHOW CHOIR.

This only goes to show that Democracy doesn't work.

Who can stop El Conquistidork?

[+/-] This is unrelated to American Idol, but if you want your brain to fall out, read under the cut...

http://www.neoprohibition.com/

This is a website attacking Mothers Against Drunk Driving, claiming that MADD's long-term goal is total prohibition.

Thirty seconds reading this page will inevitably produce this response: Are you shitting me?

Some of the choice quotes from the website:

"According to government data, in 2003 more people were killed by speeders (13,380) than by drunk driving (12,888)." (Ed: How many of those drunk drivers were speeding?)

"What once was considered at worst a social mistake is now recognized as a life-threatening and illegal act." (Ed: Can you believe that? What next? An end to dueling?)

"Drunk drivers are now overwhelmingly made up of product abusers who routinely reach high blood alcohol concentrations (BAC) and often are repeat offenders." (Ed: "Produce abusers?" Mmmm, that's some good spin!)

I wish this were an isolated thing, but lately these "Consumer Protection Groups" have begun sprouting like fungus on cow shit.

For example, The Center for Consumer Freedom is defending our right to make complete pigs of ourselves.

Some of the choice nuggets from this site:

"In an attempt to address childhood obesity, politicians in Texas, New York, Philadelphia, California and elsewhere have removed soft drinks from schools. But in their frenzy to control our kids' diets, they have also banned diet soda -- a zero-calorie drink, last time we checked -- along with everything else." (Ed: They banned diet soda, too? Those monsters!)

"...The ridiculous Body Mass Index (BMI) standard, which considers our fit President Bush 'overweight'." (Ed: He's not overweight; he's under-smart.)

Click here to see the Declaration of Food Independence, which is so closely modeled on the Declaration of Independence it reads like satire: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Consumers are created equal, that they are endowed with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; that whenever any aspiring Big Brothers become destructive of these ends, it is the right of the Consumers to alter or abolish that relationship."

Thanks to FrenchBenj for the link.