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Monday, April 25, 2005
Random... (no honestly... you'd be better off to skip this one entirely and come back tomorrow)
The official motto of the State of Michigan is "Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice." Which translates to "If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you." Because of the excessive suckiness of this motto, I propose we change it: "If you want to get five inches of snow in April, come on over.".
It snowed all weekend here in America's Mitten. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And nothing really takes the joy of out of the last weekend in April like freezing temperatures and iced-over roads. Anyway. Newsflash! Fat people live longer than thin people! So listen, my zaftig brothers and sisters: The next time some shrinky-dink twink gives you that look from head to toe that says, "You are huge and disgusting," you can look right back at them and say, "Oh, go walk through a harp." Because someday you will be able to pee on his grave. And that, my friends, is the best revenge. That is all. |
